Monday, June 25, 2012

Cemburu Tandanya Sayang?





Baiklah..kata kata seorang teman yang selalu digunakan untuk menjawab kita bila dia maksudkan dengan “yes Sir!”.

Baiklah..saya nak bercakap pulak tentang perasaan. Perasaan yang selalu menganggu gugat jiwa, perasaan yang selalu merunsingkan minda.

CEMBURU…
@
JEALOUSY… kata orang putih…

But is it true, jealousy means love? Rasanya kalau kita bentangkan pernyataan ini kat depan golongan bijak pandai, agaknya apa reaksi mereka ye…


 


Ataupun kita kongsikan dengan rakan rakan kita yang realitinya jauh lebih ke hadapan mentality mereka dibandingkan dengan kita di Amerika sana…rasanya saya dapat bayangkan macam mana rupa mereka mendengar ungkapan tersebut yang tersangatlah popular di kalangan masyarakat sejagat di Malaysia ni.

Bah..what’s wrong with the phrase then?

Apa yang tidak betulnya pulak?

Hmmm…kalau awak Tanya saya lah…memang banyak yang tidak betulnya. Mari kita start dengan rangkap pengenalan dulu.

Cemburu – maksudnya perasaan iri terhadap sesuatu atau seseorang

Yang kita sedia maklum, semenjak dari sekolah dulu, perasaan iri hati pulak memang tidak baik kan?

Orite…Sayang pulak, maksudnya kasihkan sesuatu atau seseorang.

So, Nampak tak maksud yang bertentangan di antara dua perkataan tersebut?

Cemburu = negative
Sayang = positif

Jadi, saya letakkan begini, frasa cemburu tandanya sayang tu, cuma diertikan baik oleh orang yang cuma hendak mengiyakan sifat negatif cemburu itu sendiri.

Just to justifying the negative act of jealousy, so people (in Malaysia particularly) saying that it (jealousy) is a sign of love.

Too bad..because for me, it is a sign of control maniac is entering your normal, peaceful life, so, if you see it, run!!

Well, you can stay if you want to be control. It’s a freedom country boh..:D

 
 Okay, dah habis dah bab pengenalan, kita masuk pulak ke isi yang pertama.

Kenapa saya tak setuju bila depa cakap cemburu tu tandanya sayang?

Sebabnya yang pertama, cemburu tu perasaan yang kemudiannya boleh menyebabkan perlakuan yang menyakitkan hati pasangan. Sebagai contoh, bila teman lelaki atau si suami yang cemburu, dia tarik muka masam. Itu kira okay la tu, belum sampai lagi tahap gaban dia. Bila tarik muka masam, pergaduhan mungkin bermula sebab hati kan dah tak senang. So, bila dah bergaduh, yang sedihnya nanti si teman wanita atau si isteri sebab si teman lelaki atau si suami tu tadinya menuduh yang bukan bukan sebab perasaan cemburu dia. Maka, sakit hati pun timbul di antara kedua dua belah pihak.

Kalau awak sayang orang tu, awak tak akan nak sakitkan hati atau pun perasaan dia. Itu yang pasti.

Kena pulak jenis yang main bantai bila api cemburu dah berkobar kobar macam obor kat sukan olimpik tu, haa…kan padahnya lebih teruk.

Kedua pulak, cemburu ni cuma alatan untuk seseorang mengawal yang seorang lagi.

Jealousy is just a tool to control someone else to do what they wanted.

Contohnya la…

Bila si lelaki ni cemburu, dia mula la letak syarat dengan teman wanita atau si isteri.

“Awak tak boleh ada facebook…”
“Awak tak boleh pakai skirt..”
“Awak tak boleh kerja…”
“Awak tak boleh keluar dengan kawan kawan..”
“Awak tak bolej terima klien ni..”
“Awak tak boleh….”
“Awak tak boleh….”

Dan..

“Awak tak boleh…”

Sedap tak telinga dengar?

Maka, si wanita ni pulak pun ada jugak cengengnya. Bila dah kemaruk cinta, mula la rabun. Semuanya main angguk je. Tapi kalau takat tu tak mengapa la pulak. Ada la jugak segelintir yang nak juga bertahan dengan lelaki jenis ni, kemudian tak pulak dia dapat menurut segala syarat yang diberikan, maka perlanggaran perintah pun berlaku.


Apa yang terjadi seterusnya pulak..bila perintah dah dilanggar ikan todak, maka yang ‘si raja’ pun murka la tek….

Masa ni la segala ilmu sepak terajang dia keluar menonjolkan diri. Tak cukup dengan tu, sumpah seranah dan serpih serpih herdikan pun dihamburkan bersama. Maka, yang dikatakan orang yang disayang tadi lah yang menjadi mangsa, kalau pun bukan korban.

Inikah yang kita kata sayang?

Awak sayang bini awak pukul la ya…abis tu, sebab bini tak pukul awak balik, sebab tu la bini ni dikatakan tak sayang? Gitu?

Okay, ketiga pulak, kenapa saya tak setuju bila dikatakan cemburu tu tandanya sayang.

Sebabnya nyata…awak tak yakin dengan diri awak la. Kalau awak tak confident, semua orang lain awak nampak macam nak jatuhkan awak. Semua orang lain nampak nak rampas bini atau girlfren awak.

So, yang ni memang bahaya lah jugak sebab lelaki yang sampai tahap ni memang menyeksakan hidup anda. Bak kata seorang teman suatu ketika dulu, merimaskan. Sikit sikit dia nak cemburu sebab bagi dia, semua yang lain adalah lebih baik daripada dia. Apa aktiviti kita nak kasi report ngan dia. Nak kasi testimonial lagi ngan sapa kita duduk.

Patuh pun ada hadnya. Kalau dikatakan berdosa sebab tak patuh pada suami, adakah tidak berdosa pula kalau kita cuma membiarkan jiwa kita binasa? Bukankah kita adalah hamba Tuhan, bukannya hamba kepada mana mana manusia? Bukankah berdosa menggalakkan perlakuan yang tidak elok dengan menyerah dan membiarkan perlakuan tersebut berlaku ke atas diri kita, tanpa melakukan apa apa pun. Bagi saya, menjadi seorang manusia yang tidak berupaya dan berusaha untuk menjaga diri sendiri pun kedengaran seperti suatu dosa.

Sebab yang terakhir pulak, sebab tak percaya dengan kita. Alahai…dunia. Kalau tak percaya dengan si kekasih hati, buat apa la nak berkasih kasihan dengan dia pulak. Tak ke namanya mencari padah.

Ada teman yang berkata “trust is to earn..”

Well, beb..how can she earn your trust if anything or everything she did is just not right for you then?

Not answering your call during her meeting with her boss, or when she is releasing herself in the washroom, also is a sin, then why bother to have a girlfriend at all? Maybe try your courtship with a female alien. Well, I suggest so, thinking that alien might not need to go to toilet LoL.

Memang la perangai cemburu ni jarang ada baiknya bagi kita. Kalau yang dah ada anak 2 atau 3 orang macam kita ni, mana ada masa nak layan perasaan cemburu suami non..oii…balik rumah, urus anak, urus rumah. Pagi sampai petang pulak duduk ofis, memerah otak yang dah kering kontang demi sesuap nasi untuk keluarga tercinta.

Mana la ada masa nak layan pasangan yang merajuk rajuk dek perasaan cemburu ni. Nak fikir tentang berpujuk pujuk pun dah kita berasa letih. Apalagi nak mempraktikkannya.

Bagi saya, memang ungkapan ni dah tak dapat diguna pakai di zaman sekarang ni. Tak setuju betul bila sesetengah pihak cuba nak mengiya atau membenarkan perlakuan mereka yang merampas hak asasi manusia lain dengan mengongkong atau menghadkan aktiviti dalam hidup orang yang menjadi mangsa.

Pencabulan hak asasi adalah…menidakkan hak untuk berasa bebas, di bumi bertuah ni. Menidakkan hak seseorang untuk bergaul dan bersosial, menidakkan hak seseorang untuk memajukan diri mereka.

So kawan kawan, buka mata, buka hati. Cemburu bukan tanda sayang. Cemburu tandanya kehidupan anda akan dirampas dari anda. Ini dunia millennium, tiada siapa yang patut menjadi hamba kepada sesiapa pun. Masing masing punya hak untuk menjalani kehidupan sendiri asalkan tidak menyalahi undang undang dan menyakiti orang lain. Tiada siapa yang patut dipaksa untuk menyayangi kita sekiranya mereka enggan.


Patuh sebagai isteri pun ada hadnya uga. Janganlah setelah 20 tahun mendapat ‘pingat’ sebagai yang menurut ‘perintah’, bila anda melihat semula ke belakang, anda menyesal dengan pilihan yang anda buat untuk bertahan dan mengorbankan hidup anda untuk sesuatu yang tidak sepatutnya.

Janagan ambil mudah perkara ini kerana, setelah 20 tahun berlalu, anda mungkin tidak punya peluang lagi untuk memulakan apa yang anda telah tinggalkan di belakang selama ini.

Sampai ketemu lagi, sayangi dan hargai insan insan sekeliling anda, praktikan untuk menunjukkan perasaan sayang anda kepada mereka kerana kita mungkin tidak punya hari esok.

Salam sayang…..

Peace for the world..


** Copyright in images used is owned by the original artist

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Just how fast can the times flies...


This Gawai festive, I took a lot of photos. And when I sat and check back all those that I'd took, surprisingly, I was surprised on how big are these kids now. My, time really isn't waiting for anyone LoL...

year 2010 ~ Tanjung Batu Bintulu, Gwen 4, Adam 9 & Girl 3
Adam was born on 09/03/2001 when I was just 20 years old. At that time, I did not have any idea on how he will change my life. I had no idea that I can love someone so handsome and little more and more each day.




He is just as cheerful as he was when he was a baby. Always giggling and friendly with everyone. And now, when he is so tall, he is taller than me, he still has that charming attitude of him. He is just a very respectful young man, obedient as he should be, I always feel guilty for being apart most of the time.

I wish he will has a good future ahead of him, with his good heart, I know he will melt many girl's heart too.


2012 - Sibujaya- Girl 4, Adam 11 & Gwen 6
they grew up so fast
Then, there is this young lady, Gwyneth Jadelia Gala., born on 02/12/2006. Petite but I am sure I see the long legs already. She is more alike with her dad, the feature and the look, I also can see the similarity in their attitude. Gentle and loveable, just like daddy. She always consider herself as her daddy's friend.

Many people said that she is 'anak bapak'.
Not much a trouble maker, she is so sweet in her toddler stage. Likes to smile and laugh whenever teased. I can see that she has the artistic talent already.

I can really guess what will she be when she is adult but I am pretty sure, it has to do with art. Being paranoia as a mother, I always reminds her "education first then you can be anything you want".

She will talk all day if you let her, she will cry quietly and dramatically. She likes to pose in front of camera and very good in doing so. Sometimes she just amazed me, because when I was a little girl, I remember like to act like an actress, imitating those movie star and sang 'cincai' lyric but to the correct tune.

Gwyneth 4 yrs old - Kanowit
When she was born, she was just 3 kg little girl. I remember seeing her face, so small and quiet. She is about 6 years old now, I always remember she start sitting by herself just when she was 6 months old, danced and singing to every song in TV. Then, I remember her in her first day at school, she was almost in tears when seeing the other kids cried but she acted cool and tried her very best to be strong.

One thing that I'd noticed, she is quiet around other people, be it at school or anywhere else but when at home, she is the ''parrot', talking and singing nonstop, sometimes it was just irritated.


Genevieve Jolene Suri - 2yrs old
~mischievous little girl~
After 15 months of Gwen's (we call Gwyneth, Gwen) birth, there came this mischievous young lady, Genevieve Jolene Suri. Weighted 3.3kg, I remember being in the labor room for only 3 hours and she was born. She was due on 25/02/2008 but two weeks before she was born, I told my husband, 'this baby will be born on 22nd and indeed I was right.

She was born at 3pm on 22/02/2008. Wished to have another son, didn't stop us to immediately felt in love with her. When I first saw her face, I laughed. It was funny because she looked just exactly like her sister.

Loving Gegirl (we call her Girl or Gegirl) is easy. She was just loveable, but my heart sank when every time I saw Gwen at first I thought, “how am I going to provide them equal love?" but I did. I love my kids dearly but Gwen (grateful for her kind heart) always the one that is giving in to her little sister.

Girl is a sensitive young lady. Each day when she grows, she turns to looks a lot like me. And everyone started commenting "wahh..this is mummy's girl."
We both bonded immediately after she was born. She wasn't much a cranky and taking care for them both wasn't much a deal for me. Every day, when they were just toddles, my routine was, giving them bath, feed them, put them to sleep and everything was to be done twice. hahaha..so I have an experience taking care for twin.

Since she was just 1 year plus, she was diagnosed with asthma and we celebrate her 2nd birthday in hospital due to that. She is very active but at the same time, a very sensitive and fragile one.
She sometimes will yell but she is afraid of dark and police officer. She is stubborn but at the same time, she has empathy and easily feel sorry and understand others hardship.

Once when watching a movie, she cried when seeing a puppy that was used to threatened a kid, by a maniac. So then, I know she has a very gentle heart, behind that stubbornness.

Not much an artistic herself, she is just quick in learning things and can speak well at earlier age, comparing with other children her age. She remembered and recognized alphabet by heart when she was just 3 years old. Now she is learning summation.

Though not as artistic as her elder sister is, she also like to sing and dancing. She is just a fast learner. She likes beautiful things just as her sister is and not choosy befriend others.

In my heart, I kind of see her as someone that mediated for others and as a leader. She has that strong charisma in her that sometimes makes people thinks she is the elder one.

Only that, one thing she can't let, that is her 'dummy'. Maybe because she is always getting sick and I am not always around her, she needs that as her comfort. And to think of that, my heart just breaks.

But to God I pray, each day, to bless these little hearts, so they will be a good person and so their faith always strong to guide them in their life.

Girl 1+ & Gwen 2yrs old
 Girl, 1yr old & Gwen 2.5yrs old
When we were in love with our boyfriend or husband, we thought, "I will never ever can love anyone else." But my children changed my mind. I keep on falling in love with them each day I see their face, their innocent faces in their sleep, I fall in love...

Now I know when a mother said, she will die for her children, she really did mean it, because that is how I feel too.

So everyone, cherish the moment that we have with our loved ones, never take them for granted. They were the ultimate gift from God.

Girl, 4 & Gwen 6 - current

Love..love and love....