OMG!! I haven’t been wrote anything since beginning
of 2011. What a lazy bone am I. There were so many things happened. So many
things to share, the good and the bad things. Honestly, mostly were the bad
ones but I don’t want to be whining about my life when now, at this moment, I
think I am content with everything I have. I made myself promise that I will
not forget anymore. I will not forget that God was with me when I thought that
I can’t make it through. God was listening when I felt so lonely and nobody
cared. There were times when I have to hide myself in the bathroom and cried. I
acted tough and strong in front of everyone including my close friends and
family, especially my husband and kids. But then when I woke up the next
morning and the children jumping up and down on my bed, laughing and ready to
start the day, I was grateful. At least I have them with me. I was with those
that I love most. They never complaining, then why should I? And I never stop
praying. I always believe that someday, God will show me the light, then I got
my first job since we moved back from Sibu to Bintulu (a second time around
after we moved back to Sibu on October 2010). After labour day, on May 2011 I started
working at one of the biggest 4 star hotel here at their accounting department
and I thanked God for that. The pay is not that handsome but at least there was
something to pay the bill. And some shopping for myself. Honestly, I was happy
and comfortable with most of the people and the surrounding. The Manager at
that time was very understanding and always motivating. I really like her, Mdm
Tan. But by then she has been resigning from her position to moved back to US
with her husband. Then, the problem started. Not only for me, but for most of
the employees at the administration department. When you are reaching certain
level of age in your life, you are matured enough to be honest with your job
and doing it sincerely, not expecting to interfere in anything other than that.
You just wanted to come to work in the morning, do your work, finish
everything, trying to do it perfectly and hope that nobody is disturbing you.
Then going back home and rest for the night. But nothing is always what you
want it to be. I am an honest person, if I think that I can’t handle it, I will
leave. Then that was what I did. And I felt sorry for those that stucked there because
they have nowhere else to go. I have no problem with the workload but politic
is really not my cup of tea. Especially office politic. And I think the Company
is ‘squeezing’ their workers too much. 8 days leave in a year? And basic as low
as RM650 for Diploma holders? And if you are not categorized pretty face, you
will be left aside in most of the activities there. You will not have any
chance to perform in anyway. Then I walked away, for good.
When I resigned from my first job on 2011,
because I was not agreed with the office politics and biased among the staffs
and department, I felt lucky for getting another offer, a very good one with
one of the very established company here. But then everything was such a mess.
Again, the office politics and the bully really disturbing me. Most of the
employees, they have a very good education background. And they are experienced
in what they are doing. But too bad, because of the dirty politics and lacked
of trust from the highest management level, they were most of the time not
happy with what they were doing. Not a single day that I didn’t hear any
complain. And of course, for I just can’t working or living in denial, I walked
away…again this time. Honestly, I was so scared when I made the decision. I had
put a lot of things in jeopardy. But I just can’t stand it. Every working day
was a torture for me. Even when I was not working and staying at home, I just
can’t have a peaceful mind.
People purposely sabotaged your work,
complaining to the boss behind you and put rules to everything and anything you
can do. We were not even allowed to talked and discussed among the staffs
there, whether it regarding works or not. The bitch that was senior there, she
did most of the thing in the wrong way (in accounting record) but she never
willing to listen to others opinion. I was not allowed to come near to the fax machine,
not allowed to answer the phone or door, not allowed to smile and we even
scared to move without their permission. The bitch purposely did not assign any
work for me, complaining in everything we did. They even called upon a meeting
over pantry usage issue. There were 5 of us that were new that time and we were
so distressed over all these things. We were not provided any internet and not allowed
to create any file for our work. Everything have to asked for their permission
(not the boss but the senior bitches). And forgive me if I do sound rude but
they were ‘stupido’. They are at where they are now because they worked for
over 10 years at the place. And they got mad every time we, the newcomers
asking them for any advice on work. I am very sure when they were first came to
work 10 years ago, they were even more stupid than us. I always remember the
tone of their voice when we tried to asked about anything. They were so rude!!
Every calls we made were recorded, every fax came in or going out was to be
recorded, even though we were in the same office with various of
company/subsidiaries, we were extremely forbidden to went to any of the others
subsidiaries office (that was in the same main office, same main door). There
were so many rule, you would think that you are in a jail. And not to mention,
we were not allowed to listening to music also. If you have ever been to a
morgue, that place was worst.
Well, I am not trying to badmouth my
previous working employer but it is the truth. And I always feel sorry for my
friends there that are still there whether it because of their loyalty (out of
nothing) or because they have no other choice. It is very bad when your boss
came back from travelling and few people complaining and delivered bad news to
him and that will make him lashing out at everyone else. I am feeling sorry for
the boss also, for he is an older man. He might get heart attack because of
these bitches. And most importantly, those bitches one day will bring the
company down with their nonsense and rudeness toward other employees. High employees’
turnover is very bad for a company’s reputation and time costing. To think that
those bitches know what that mean meh… And what very annoying was, she (the no.
1 bicth) always taking credit for what everyone else doing! So, I’ve never
regretted my decision even though I have to face the consequence.
I
WAS JOBLESS AGAIN………
AND
MY MOTHER IN LAW WENT BACK TO HER HOMETOWN, SO I HAVE NO BABYSITTER EVEN IF I
AM WORKING.
For 2 months, starting from November 2011,
I was jobless, back to fulltime mummy again, with tones of bills outstanding. I
put up ad for home babysitter but nothing came out. I tried to sold lunch box
at LNG site with a friend of mine, tried to applying for Amanah Ikhtiar
Malaysia loan to set up business but everything was just not working out! I
even thought of applying foa a job as a cleaner with one of my aunt. But then
there are the kids to consider. WHO IS
GOING TO LOOK AFTER THEM?
That was the biggest dilemma for me at that
time. Then I applied for every vacancy that I saw in the newspaper’s ad that
suited my qualification and experiences. One day, I saw an ad looking for an
English teacher in PIMPIN Kindergarten then I called. They asked me to drop
over my resume and after 2 weeks, thinking that I might not get the job for I
have no official teaching background, apart from giving home tuition and I am
in a very opposite field, accounting, at last I decided to try and I hand
delivered my application letter and CV to the Principal.
After about 2 weeks, they called me to come
for an interview and I came. There were few other ladies there and I was so not
confident but I was desperate for a job, for a pay. When I was called into the
interview room, there were 5 people sitting in front of me. 2 of them, the men,
I figured out later were the owners. One of them, obviously was the big boss. He
looked at my resume and said, “do you realize that this job is not going to get
you a high pay? And it is only for morning session..” and I said “yes sir..I do
realize it”.
Then he said again, “but your experiences
are mostly in accounting….”
I said “ yes sir..they are..”
Then he asked again “let say you get this
job, is there anything you need? Any request?”
And I thought…’wow..this is weird…can I say
I want a big salary and free tuition fee for my children here?’ but instead I
said “not for this time sir..”
After few questions and answers, I was
dismissed and when I walked out from the room, I heard someone was calling my
name and this big boss, Mr Goh was there, handing over his business card.
He said “I am looking for someone to do
account, please call me if you are interested..”
And I said “allright sir, sure..”
4 o’clock that afternoon, he called me.
AND
THAT IS HOW I GOT MY CURRENT JOB.
And I am very grateful and thankful to God
every day since then. I did feel bad because on the same day Mr Goh offer me
the job with a striking pay, the principal of the kindergarten also called me
and I had to turn down her offer. The job was tempting when for I can bring my
girl to the school and it is only for half day only, the other half day I can
spend with my children at home because lately, I felt so overwhelmed by the
fact that no one wanted to help us when we need it the most. But then, we took a
step at time.
I reported to work on 03/01/2012. With a
prayer, I was still phobia by my previous working experience. We sent the kids
to my aunt’s place until we can find a better solution. And after few days, it
didn’t seem to work too, we had to asked for my friend’s help, Mdm Christina
and as my kids call her, Aunty Chris. What an angel, she is the friend that I
consider a true friend. We drop the kids with last minute notice and she never
said no. And my kids love her dearly, she is wonderful with children and the
girls are pampered.
Again, I thanked God for blessing me with
such a good human being to be a friend.
Then
we were tested again…..
Miss Genevieve Jolene was starting to have
fever…on and off for almost 3 weeks, we took her to various clinic, government
and private clinics, still she was not well. Then, end of January, she was
admitted to Bintulu Hospital for further medical check up. Her x-ray was so
bad, her blood showing infection in her lung and I was miserably stressed. I
have to obtained leave from work for 2 days and stayed in the hospital for 3
nights with her. By then she was getting better but I was so upset every time
the nurses came with the antibiotic for her lung, she was so in pain because of
that medicine and there was nothing I can do.
Her hand was scarred with IV scars and
blood test needle. They planned to take about 10 tube of 10ml each of her blood
but she was so dehydrated they can’t get any from her. And it almost brought
tears to my eyes listening to her crying for the pain. But of course I can’t do
that. I was to be strong, the strongest person in the world when it comes to
the children. And I am glad that I did stay strong.
And I never stop praying…..because I know,
God is listening. And I am right. He is indeed listening.
When I came back to worked, I was thinking
that, “now..I have spent my 2 days pay and it is quite a lot for me…” but for
the kids, that was nothing, all right.
I was so scared if my employer will questioned
me for my absence (I did notified them) but thank God, they didn’t. My lady
boss asked about Gegirl well being. But still, I was phobia…that they might not
believe me.
And then, when it came to my pay day, the
boss paid me in full! I was surprised and I asked him, “sir..I think you forgot
to deduct my 2 days unpaid leave” and I never expected his answer;
“never mind…don’t you worry about that..”
And I said in my heart “God, bless this
people for their kindness…”
It might just some money but for me, it was
more than that. It is what I called TRUST.
And it can’t be bought.
Now, I am bringing Gegirl to my office. I
know very well that no one know how to care for her when she is sick. I have no
choice and I am taking the risk. But my employer is just a very understanding
and kind persons, they never say anything about it. My lady boss even bought
her a supplement. And thank God too, Gegirl is such a nice girl….she always
behave but of course when she was bored, she will sometimes acted funny…but my
heart is in peace now. Like a friend said..”doa orang yang teraniaya sentiasa
akan termakbul..”
I am not sure about that but I do know and
believe with whole my heart that, God is always here with each of us..He will
reward us for our faith.
And I have made a promise to myself, I will
be a better person, appreciate everything that I have, be thankful for God’s
blessing and be a good role model to my children.
And I told my husband, tomorrow is Saturday
(I am not suppose to working on Saturday) but I will come to work and repay my
employer kindness and trust.
Just a piece of reminder for all of us;
“give when you still have something to give and be
thankful for everything you have, you will be blessing for that.
Thank
you for all friends that have been very supportive during my hard times…there
is nothing I can do to pay you because what you guys did is priceless.
Remember,
THE ONLY WAY TO GET OVER THE STROM IS TO
GO THROUGH IT.
Adios….and
see you soon…J
