Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Yesterday I was checking on God Want You To Know application in my facebook profile and the words was; “You have been asking a it’s time for you to listen to Him...” and it mentioned about meditation as a way to listen to God through our heart. And being an ignorant person myself, I never thought of this, of not listening enough to Him even I have full faith in Him. Yes, I was asking and keep on asking but little did I listen for all this time to His words. And it saddened me to realise that. So this time I search through the net and try to observe and understand the words of God that I found in there. Surprisingly, it did relieve me to know the beautiful words from our bible, just a little of it is enough to make me feel peace inside my heart. So, I just want to share my favourite words from our holy bible that has been our guidance since eternity. Enjoy and try to absorb...

This kind of selfishness is rooted in pride. When someone serves their own interests at the expense of someone else, that person is saying, “I am better than him. I deserve this more.” We want people to notice us, and we want them to think we have it all together. But allowing pride in our lives is the exact opposite of how God wants us to respond to Him.

He must become greater; I must become less (John3:30).

Courtesy from

That is what I meant when in my prayer I always mentioned we are ignorant. As human, we are just weak. We like to be superior from everyone else and we forgot that is against God’s will. We think we are good, better than others because we think we have what others do not have. But what we ignore is the fact that God made us all equally, with our own strength and weaknesses. There come the phrase; “No one is perfect” but still we choose to act arrogant in front of Him by belittle others and trying to hurt others so that we can feel better.

I must become less, from my point of view means to be humble. Control our act to boasting around about who we are. We often described ourselves as beautiful, succeed, smart, sexy, handsome, lucky and bla..bla..bla..and indeed some are true to their description but what many of us always forget to put into our ‘resume’ of attitude is kind hearted. Is it because we think that it is not getting us any way in our life? Or that being kind hearted will not show how superior we are in front of others? Or because being kind hearted makes us a humble person and being humble will make us losing all the material ambitions that we have? BUT what we always forget too is that humbleness is the only thing that will gain us the respect. Can we buy respect? Can we force others to respect us just because we are sitting on the number one chair in the office? Maybe some do not care of how they got the respect but for those who know God and believe in Him, they will definitely care. I care because of that I was often hurt because for me, no use in talking back if someone has telling us that they are the powerful one, they are the mightiest one, for I know, when it comes to this point, it is their business with God, not me anymore. So, let God deal with their arrogance. Who are we to say we are more than others when we clearly know also that we are equally God’s handmade. But to get it straight, I also not against it if anyone want to behave arrogantly because it is their right. Only that like I said before, now it is their business with God. We are just no one, no one to judge and punish.

Child’s faith
'Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favour that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace. Thus, it is just as impossible to separate faith and works as it is to separate heat and light from fire! Ask God to work faith in you, or you will remain forever without faith, no matter what you wish, say or can do.'

Martin Luther on 'Galatians 3:1-14'

I am not a church goer. I will never admit that I am one. But inside my heart, I have one place for me to put my faith to God. I believe that He is around even when I was at the lowest point of my life. I believe that even when I suffer, that is a sign of God’s love and recognition of my strength because for me, He will never put me in a test if He thinks I can’t make it. And I always believe when He took something away from me, there is a better chance He will give much more than that.

God’s made all the beautiful and ugly things..we are to be grateful for the balance.

What I mean is, every time He throws anything to me, regardless of how bad or good that thing is, I always learned from it and it brought me some changes that made me grow and became wiser in seeing the world. His way of showing His love just madly funny sometimes but God is God, He is our creator and He has all the right on how He wanted to show His love to us. And each times, I will be more conscious of the reason I was given each day, to appreciate everything and everyone around me and be grateful for His blessing. To remind me that I have responsibility towards my family, my friends, employer and community. To remind me that I am to be nice to those people around me. But of course, I am just a human being, God’s creature and I do make mistakes. No exception..only that I always turned to Him every time I was in that situation, and I will accept anything He thinks is fit for my ignorant behaviour. I accepted everything He has for me.....

Never think that when we are in suffering moment, He is punishing us. Maybe He just want us to be mature and learn from the suffering. Or maybe He wants us to look at the different perspective. Or maybe He wants us to know ourselves better by recognising our own strength to deal with the suffering. For me, there is always a reason why God made and do everything.

So, I am truly hope that we will see something from our sharing on this. But of course, everything I elaborate, I think, I said and write here is from my own point of view. It has nothing to do with any books or person. Only those wording from the net, I did highlighted them out. From the beginning when I started sharing in my blog, I do not see what the importance is to write based on a book or fact. If that so, anyone can get the book from the bookstore, no need to bother yourself to read my writing here. I am me, I write from my heart, what I feel and how I look things differently. So, if anyone do not agree with me, I apologize and I am to respect that too because like I always said, it is everyone’s right. And to get everyone attention, I do not stated any specific name in this writing of mine.

Until we meet again, adios and may God bless us all......salam....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Student Vs Teacher

Let us start our entry with few jokes that I’ve found in the website. They are so funny and cute. And from that, whether they really happened or not, we have a picture in our mind of how clever are these kids and they are full of enthusiasm and idea that we might never think of.

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! creative these kids are? To think that we as an adult know better and think better? Let’s try some ;

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

My own children, all the times they never fail to amaze me. By their new vocabulary or act..they are just fantastic in their own way.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

Most of the times, we always assuming as an adult, we say all the correct thing, act all the correct way and we tend to ignoring their way of expressing themselves because in our head we thought, they are just kids, they should not be treated like an adult because they are not thinking like one.

Okay..actually I want to talk about the ‘hot’ video that was share by my friends in the facebook and for these couple of weeks, everyone speak out their mind and opinion regarding what happened. The video was a recording of a student from in one of Sarawak school, aged 15 punched his own teacher after a quarrel.

BUT, before I go further, I would like to get things clear here that my intention is just like always, to bring us to think outside of the box and to ‘see’ at the other side of the view. No intention to judge or blame anyone. We just try to look from our children view or from teenagers @ student view. How we see think differently because we used to thought differently when we were just a teenager, right?

So, I will apologize beforehand to everyone that might not agree with me regarding this and I am always being grateful for all the teachers that has their part in shaping me as who I am today. Definitely, I will always owe it to them my knowledge and I appreciate it. Without them, how am I to write here now?

Okay, maybe many have seen the video for it was aired on the news at that time and youtube as well as others media and facebook of course.

BUT, when most of people said that what a rude that student was, he was not supposed to talk back to his teacher and most important, he was not to punched the teacher. But at that time, I still did not know what was really happen because my desktop was ‘mute’ does not has speaker so, I can’t listen to their conversations, so I just can’t comment much on the video. This morning my best friend got me to watched it from her notebook then, I catch up on the conversation.

This is what I can shortlisted to few lines of conversation, and I translated it to English here (their conversation was in Bahasa Malaysia) but it was not in order..mind me.

The student “I tried to explained that I did not do it but you refused to listen to me.”
The teacher “now you can say it, you just say it..”
The student “what the use of explaining it now, it’s too late”
The teacher “see how is your attitude...bla bla should go to other school..”
The student “you are the one who should go..” “I’ve told you that I am innocent but you never listening and still blaming me..”
The teacher “mampus la..” meaning..go to hell..
The student “you go to hell...”

That is what few of the conversation that I managed to catch during their quarrel and for me, it is just enough. Enough to noticed that that kid was upset and crying, enough to see that that teacher, standing in front of him and keep on ‘heating up’ the ‘flame’. And just in case no one noticed, the teacher was holding a long cane and strongly thumped it on the floor or table (can’t really see that) several times.

Well, from that, there is only one thing I can say, as an adult, we know very well that we are not suppose to upset others and pushed them to their limit. The kid is just 15 years old, what the use of tongue fighting against that small kid? As a teacher that responsible to teach these kids discipline may be few things should be take into mind;

(i) Never provoke others and push them too far because everyone has their limit
(ii) As an adult, we are suppose to handle the situation, taking into matters the bottom line of the problem instead of keep on shouting back but talk everything slowly and tenderly as we could because they are just human like us
(iii) As a teacher I think they did have a psychology lesson in their training term to handle teenagers and their behaviour and one of it definitely, not to fight fire with gas ( that phrases ka..). Or in BM “kekerasan jangan dilawan dengan kekerasan”
(iv) Listening is the best tool to cope with trouble teenager. As a teenager myself once upon a time (hahaha..) I really respected any adult regardless they were my teacher of just a relative if they willing to listen to my problem instead of being angry and scolding me

Okay, that is just few because I think many out there know very well and better than me. Of course the kid was wrong too. As a student we should have respect for our teacher. May be he was so angry and feeling upset but still, hitting others is wrong no matter who they are, and especially if they are our teacher. When I was at that age, I had my own problem to coped with during my school time with some of the subjects that I hate, living in boarding school and have to follow order all the time and plus some of the teachers really lousy in their teaching and make me slept in my seat.

But, when it comes to term and discipline matter, I had never, ever talking back to my teacher. No matter what they accused me for, I did it or not, I preferred to silent myself because I knew very well, no use to fight the ‘commando’ when you are just the small ‘prebet’. So, just accepted it whatever it was. And of course inside I burnt like hell.

Back to our issue. If you ask me, I will suggesting that both or them, the teacher and the student should undergo therapy and counselling (if we have any). Dispelling any of them will cause more damage. To correct them is better for they are both important to our future.

And, I would like to say that I respected more one of the teacher that was in white shirt, tried to calm the kid down. And I do not know who was the one, the lady that was sitting on the couch, watching them without doing nothing like she was watching a TV drama.

Besides, as an adult, whether a teacher or not, we should teach the youngster to respect by showing them the attitude too. Because when you respect others, you also gain some from them. That is 110% true.

From my experience, those teacher that showing respect and understanding towards their students tend to get more bright student from their teaching.

When I was in form 2, I despised maths subject because the teacher (but I do not felt that anymore) always being impatient and scolding us if we failed to answered her question. That really made me felt like I was useless and unmotivated. But when I was older then I try to study in accounting, all about numbers, I can felt in love with the numbers. And of course my lecturer was very good in attracting my interest. I think that is what a teacher do, attracting interest instead of giving their student a reason to hate the teaching.

Well, we are big guys, please do not have any prospect in winning a quarrel over small kids because it will not getting us any better than them. Just because they are young and small, we think that we do not have to respect them, that is totally not right.

Do the job because you really fit to be an example to our next generation and because you really care to educate them, not because the pay. And I think that is the main reason when teaching become a burden to some teacher and sometimes, they just can’t handle it because it is not in their heart. They do it because they have no choice but to work for the salary.

Nothing wrong in listening to those young hearts. Teaching them to nurture all the good attitude. Talk and discuss, changing opinion with student do not mean that the teacher is loss his respect, it will gain him more of the respect.

For student, maybe it is hard now, have to listen to the eldest all the way from when you open your eyes until you close your eyes and sleep at night but, just think of that as a love, caring way the elders to protect you from the unexpected future. Only that some adult might showing their caring attitude in different way because they themselves is not perfect but I am very sure they mean well. When all of you grow up, you will know, how worry we are as an adult for you, because you are the prospect leaders of our future. Our nation is in your hand, you will shape it. Of course we have a right to be worry.

Do not just forcing everyone to behave correctly when we ourselves fail to do so. For example, during my school time, teachers were strictly against dating. For them, that was the biggest crime in the education system. BUT then some of them, courting with their student during their last term at school and at the end, made them their housewife. But of course it was not against the law, because after SPM, all the female student can do whatever they want to do. Only that, when we try to teach moral, let us show the moral first.

Some of the teacher also, siding with the students that is dating each other because they were also dating other fellow teacher, so to justified their act, they gave the green light. But before that, this said teacher, rock solid against this dating habit.

Anyway, let us take whatever happened in the video as an example for us, so we will not underestimate each other, adult or youngster in the future. We are human, we have feeling and sometimes, if it is push to much, we break.

Until we meet again, salam and salute to all teachers that has been sacrifice and given their services for the goodness of our people and to the youngster, may God be with all of you and remember that you are the backbone of a country.

Let’s ended this with this cartoon that I found in the internet..

Monday, August 9, 2010

Little heart....

I can't imagine whats inside the boy's head when he saw that little 'clone' of cute.

This is how a small child always break our heart, with their innocent and funny faces. Sometimes we just do not expect to get that expression from anywhere else. As a mother of three kids, I can say that I have felt in love everytime I first saw my children faces after they were born. This feeling jus unexplainable. So, the phases that we only felt in love once can't be use in this scenario rite?

Last few days I went to a bank near to my office. When I was queing at the cash deposit machine there, my eyes caught the notice that was posted to the wall. just next to the entrance door. It was saying..

"Pernahkah Anda Melihat Kanak Kanak Ini? Nisha, 2 tahun, hilang sejak April 2010....."

in translation : "Have You Seen This Child? Nisha, 2 Yrs old, have been missing since last April...."

How my heart break seeing the photo of her (Nisha), and thinking of my own daughter, same age as her too. How I know, really know that kids at that age really need to be with their mother. Then, all the story flooded back to me...few weeks ago, in the news, some people were caught and brought to justice for kidnapping small children and sell them for profit. My friend even shared with me that some group of people were arrested for selling small children's kidney in "black market."

My God...I just can't imagine my little girl around someone that is a total stranger to her, for she is very fragile and afraid of those people that she is not use to. And she has asthma and it could occur if she doesn't feeling comfortable to her surrounding.

I just can't imagine how this little Nisha...coping with strange people around her, away from her really almost bring tears to me thinking of that. And how the family always hoping and wishing her well being..and I hope by this time, she is found and is with her family (for that notice might have been there for sometimes and maybe she has been found since then, sound and safe).

But one thing that I really can't understand is, how greed, bring some people to cross the border of normal behaviour and making these small, innocent children their victims. For God's sake, they are just small children, that know nothing but to call their parent muumy and daddy...

Quite a number of the cases that happened in this few years...some of the victims were sexually abused and tortured to death because of men's sick mind. How can that small little creature aroused you that much? It is just out of my context of thinking. But these people, even thinking of it, make me sick to my stomach..really..really..really sick..

I even watched and read from Oprah Show and website, one case involving a girl named Elizabeth if I'm not mistaken after more than 15 years, the girl was found in the backyard of the kidnapper house, that was at that time under parole and that girl has been raped and confined for the whole time and bore her 2 children from that. And my question come the community did not realised all this happening in their neighbourhood? So, the easy answer is "ignorant". because we are so afraid that others will say that we mind others business, we tend to keep our eyes shut to everything that happened around us.

But let us look into the meaning of ignorant and minding their own business..

(i) Ignorant = We know that something is not very right, something is suspicious but we just brushed it aside because we think, what the is not my problem. They can kill anyone they want, can rape any girl they like to rape as long as it is not me or my family or my friends.

(ii) minding their own business = people that do not want to become interfere in others matters and keep quiet about others secrets so that they won't get others name smeared.

but..what does those thing telling us? Being ignorant should be avoided or we might mourn our own tragedy. Knowing something is not right from your instinct and judgement, nothing wrong in questioning and asking for advice over that matter. You might save a live. But of course not by disturbing and over react over something that you have no proof to prove. You get what I meant..

Minding our own business is a good practise but still if your heart telling you that you need to speak or do something regarding that matter, then THERE IS SOMETHING in there and some need to perk up their nose and ear. We prefer to felt guilty in interfering between husband and wife quarel than regret it later when one of them is dead because we just DON"T want to interfere in the first place. No ..I should has do this, I should has do that...

I am just hoping that we all can pray for all those missing children in the world and for Nisha especially, so they will be found and return to their family where they are belong. May God bless all those kind hearted with their prayer and protect our children from any evil act. Anything, we only make this world a safe place for our children if we love more and being honest to the people around us...

Adios and see you...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Just For Fun

Courtesy from Readers

(courtesy of Readers

just for fun...

Today is Saturday and I am sitting on my desk, pampering myself a bit and browsing the internet for the news, then for the motivational quotes and lastly, I just thought that I really need something to crack a smile..

After this working hour, we will have our BBQ at Tanjung Batu beach and I am planning to bring the kids along. Everyone in the house need sometimes out for this weekend. We miss hubby dearly but life must go on with the kids..

Hopefully they will enjoy themselves later..still thinking of what games to bring so the kids won't get boring and making scene.



What a day….I had breakfast with a colleague early this morning and when I came back to the office and sign in to my FB account, I saw a message from my dear hubby. He started by saying, “I have a bad news…” and ended it with “are you angry with me?” He is not kidding when he said that it was a bad news. As planned, he is to coming home to us by today as usual and spending the 2 limited days of weekend with his family, his wife and kids after a whole week being afar from each other.

As in normal days and usually, I am not easy to get angry over things but this times, after some horrible things that has happened in this couple of weeks, it really got into my nerves. I just can’t help myself but to get it out from my hurting chest.

When I accepted the offer to work here (Bintulu), the decision was made for the sake of the family’s future and most importantly, for the children’s future. We were positively sure that we will have to make some sacrifice, the most obvious one is we will be separated by more than 100 miles from each other. We (my hubby and me) were pretty scared by the picture (I knew he was scared even he didn’t say it) of me and the kids living alone here, without any friends and family to turn to in case we are in need. The town so new and foreign to us and the girls are just so little and innocent.

Well, my hubby said that he has to be on traveling by this evening to rural area in Kanowit district, named Ulu Poi because our beloved YB is coming to that area to registering everyone from that area to enable them to vote in the coming election (and of course they are killing 2 birds with a stone) and apparently that involving the department at where hubby is working and he has to go too. And that area is about 5-6 hours from Kanowit town, once they are there, you can't get in touch with them because there is no phone signal there (and you pray every day so there will be nothing happen to your husband and there is no way for people to inform you) and they are only to comeback the day after tomorrow, that is Sunday. So, can he say NO? That is not an option obviously..

And how do I reacted to that?

I was very upset of course and after everything we’ve been through from the previous months and last couple of week, I just can’t hold it anymore and I complaint on my FB wall. I was so angry by the prospect that, that 2 days weekend that we waited for the whole week so the girls can see their, I can at last talk to someone about what we’ve gone through the whole week and of course, we miss him the whole time from Monday until Friday…and the plan suddenly all gone…

Last couple of weeks, I cried myself almost every night because the girls were sick and I was helplessly almost can’t cope with everything, the work and 2 sick kids at home. I had to asked permission from my employer to came back home after 2-3 hours of working hours for worrying to death of their situation. And at the same time, I was having that weird lump underneath my armpit and I almost lost my sanity thinking that I can’t get sick or having any illnesses because my children are desperately depending on me. I had to bear the pain to myself and being strong for the children. It was terrible and I do not at any point, suggesting that experience to anyone..not that anyone want that thou. I was so scared, I didn’t want to have medical check up by myself so I decided to wait for my hubby to come but by Friday, of course he can’t came back that early and I just missed my appointment. And by that time, the lump has gone. BUT now, I think I am having it on the other side of my body, underneath my armpit. And it does hurt..but how can I complaint when everyone here have to turn to me on everything and when you are a ‘back bone’, you have to be as strong as a steel. And again, we are alone.

Yes..I blamed everything and everyone that I could think of. I blamed the government (hubby is a government servant) for having their lousy system, requiring their staffs to work on weekend when that time is suppose to be spent with the family. Especially when you only can see them once in a week, for 2 days only. I blamed the YB for being so inconsiderate taking those men off their value time with their family. I blamed the highest management of their department for delaying hubby’s transfer process with excuse after excuse. I blame the system..yes..the lousy system when others so easily can get their transfer done, even the office required other person with the same post to transfer to other division (and he has a family to moved with him) so, the transferee can be posted to her choice of place, of course without purely agreement (but no choice) from the original post holder. I blamed them when, the ‘red tape’ is a burden to their employees. Why when a one day job (can be done in 1 day) have to go through the whole lot of level of actions and very time consuming? When the Japanese becoming so far ahead of us because of their timing value and a good time cost management, we still enjoying others suffering to wait and wait and wait for their (the employer, the government..whatever or whoever it is) action? I really want to hear their (whoever they are) explanation on what good does all those red tapes to us, as a person, an employee, employer or a country?
And I know, some will say I am talking rubbish here. But you are welcome to try it dear, 2 kids in hand, missing your husband like hell after a week separated and have to worry like hell when he needs to travel each Friday night for almost 4 hours to be with his family? When your children asking you, “where is daddy” for every single day and you have to hold your tears and explain that to them and wept yourself to slept, knowing that you have no choice but to sacrifice that much for getting some little extra for what ‘that employer’ pay your husband every month? How am I not to be angry when as a wife, I was left almost every weekend night by my husband because he was requiring to be on travel but at the end when the ‘employer’ supposed to pay for their (employers) sweat, they cut down the claim? How am I to be patient when an offer to change to other post at new rate of pay dated a year ago but only done in this year? How am I to stand it all when all the cost for traveling back and forth to be with his family consumed almost RM500 a month?

And why are we doing this? If it is too hard for us, then why are we willing to do it?

THEN: what choice do we have but to rely on the so call ‘employer’ their understanding so that we can have a better way of life? All we are asking is, stop the red tape, start thinking like a human being instead of ‘thinking technically like a system’ so people will be happier working with them and no family have to choose to be together or to have a better life but not together.

If I am to be call a ‘no brain’ because I want what best for us and we deserve it as an employee and a citizen, then, I will give you the pass. I am not a brainer. So what..I just want my husband to be granted his transfer so my children will have their father and we can pursue our aim. If I am a stupid because I felt upset because my husband can’t come home this weekend but has to work on the days that they had given to their staffs as their off days..then many wife and mother are stupid too I guess.

BUT there is one thing I am very sure of, if you do not understand or refuse to understand of what I am feeling now and judging me by acting tough on this, then you still can’t say that you are human enough to understand others as a human too. A human will not react to nothing unless he is insane enough to be put in an asylum.

And how I wish everyone else that do not understand will experience the same less, no extra, so we will know what does ‘emotion’ mean. Am I stupid for being emotional and needing support from others to go through my situation? You tell I that bad showing my emotion and spoke out all those things that I can see (of course I can’t see all..I am not a genius here..I am the stupid one). And of course I spoke out my mind, honestly from my mind of what we are having through. How I wish people can try others life just like they are putting their feet in others shoes. I am not trying to answer a quiz here and give all the right answer, I just pointed out my own point of view and being angry for the lack of the awareness and asking and wishing for the appropriate action to be taken so that no family is separated because they want to have a better life.

Instead of being so defensive why not this people, look through what is not there and try to do the repair?

If you are a restaurant operator, if a customer said that your soup is too salty, instead of scold back the customer, easier if we lessen the salt. Or am I wrong too? Why can’t we trying to be more understanding of others difficulty?

Well…I apologize if I did sometimes really tough on my statement but I think I have the right to.

And I can foresee that in next year, if hubby is still not granted his transfer, my life will be more hectic for one of the girl will be in her pre school. Just imagine how fun it is, handling everything by your own and cry at night after you think that you almost can’t do it in the afternoon.

If I am to choose, I prefer my hubby to be in private line. More open opportunity and choices. Not bound to any ridiculous red tape but have more chances to move forward based on his own performance..but of course I can’t choose for him. It is his decision and definitely, if he choose the later, many will call him stupid too. But I will always by his side no matter what he choose. If he is stupid then he is my stupid husband, not others.

But many I’ve found very understanding thou. That is just what I needed..I didn’t say a specific name and scold them ‘membabi buta’ but I just spilled out what I felt and being honest with it. If I am so wrong, why then so many did agree with me? Maybe because they are just understand and wisely knew that what I want is support, not a correction and judgment.

Apart from that, all goes very well today. I am sad and missing my husband and the girls too but I do feel better and I am glad for having so many friends that is willing to accept me as who I am. Friends that know when to debating right or wrong and know when the time is correct to be just supportive.

But I am not offended, nor do I blaming any other person at thinking of what they are thinking. I am me, I am not perfect, I am not clever and definitely not a beauty..;) I am just an ordinary person struggling from the lowest point of my life to have a better life and am still struggling but do take something into mind, I am a Scorpio and I have been through almost everything that people will think as impossible and I can survive all that, so sometimes, when people questioned my wisdom, they hit the most dangerous point that there is in me. I might not ‘selling’ all the greatness about myself but that is because I don’t like to bragging.

So, always be humble and true to ourselves. Acting arrogant will not bring anyone to any way. May be people nod their head but not necessary agree with us. If we are to think we are good, more out there is better than us, I am very sure of it.

And now, I just need to live it day after day, being thankful for everything He throw to me even if it hurts sometimes because I know, He can see how strong I am then He test me. For the sake of the children, hopefully what we are going through right now will make us stronger.

So thank you to all friends that had given their comfort words and asking in concern towards my well being, I am really grateful for them. They are the best of persons I could have as friends even most of them never see me in person. Maybe we can see more of that person through their writing then…

Last but not least, always be grateful and try to be more concern toward others might give us more wisdom.

Until we meet again…may God bless you all…

Humble me;


*actually this is prepare at 10.07 pm, Friday night at my home and I will post it to jessysvoice early in the morning*

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Mindset (Part II)

I have been talking about mindset last few weeks before in part I. Now, I just want to continue on some of the issue that I personally think is important to highlight it to have our young generation, especially from my own group of people, Iban.

In the 1st part of Mindset, I have talked about how our people holding ourselves back by exercising negative attitude in our daily routine and the way we think. Like I said before, if we want to have our music video publish, why don’t we do it in the best way that there is?

Instead of showing the old shabby long house of us, why don’t we filmed the music video in a more modern long house? Instead of drinking ourselves to half dead with our husband money, why not, we as a wife, save a part of it for the future of our children education and to have a proper financial planning when our husband is retiring or just in case if anything does happened to them as a breadwinner? Why can’t we think of the future and taking a secure step towards it?

Now, lets us open our heart and try to understand and look into the bottom of the whole thing. I am not suggesting that everyone should agree with me but my intention here is just to bring the matter into a thought and maybe some of us can make use of some of the sharing point.

Choosing an Occupation

I think more than hundredth times already, I have encounter and see this situation where some of the parents, when it comes to the best choice of occupation ever, without hesitation will say, work in a government sector is the best job ever.

I am not against any government servant for my own husband (and I am always proud of him) working with one of the government department and I am, if not very well, may be slightly understand the way it’s work.

Honestly, looking into the system now, working with government would not getting us any further away from what we are having now. Why? I am not saying that it is not good, it just that the system does slow down the step if one want to move forward to the front.

For example, as a government staff with the average grade that is either A11-N17, started at the age of 23-25 years old, the salary ladder will be barred at RM2k after 20-25 years of working and maybe, if taken into consideration and give it an extra credit, during retirement, they are entitled for RM1500 of monthly pension and to give more credit into it, an increment of RM50-70 a year after that until age 80.

Versus, someone that started working in, say, in oil & gas industrial at the age of 25 as a rigger in an oil platform with a monthly salary of RM1500 (average for starter) without taking into account whether they have the SPM cert or degree. In another 5 years, working in the same line consistently just the same hours they spend to work in the government sect, 8 hours a day, this man can earn up to RM7-8k for a month. Why is that?

Because :

In government sect, we are bound with the system. No matter how hard you work your ass out, how good your performance was, you can’t get more than what they have in paper for you because it was ‘inked down’, fixed at that rate. Different with private sect, the grading system is more open, we don’t have to rush the quota. In most big companies, the performance is the main thing. I have quite a number of people that I’d known become success because they are really good in they performance, not because they have the degree. This people really have what it takes. They started from the lowest step of the ladder and managed to be on top because they really are good in doing their job not because the paper said, they have the certs so they should be paid by this much or that much.

So, if you work under this type of people, you are the most lucky employee because this type of people will not look down on others, they will appreciate your hard work, believe in your determination. They do not curious over that piece of paper that most other people with proudly showing off to others but when it comes to doing they job, they are just suck.

BUT still I can see that my own people, looking highly on government job, because once I heard a father said, government job is the most stable of job, government will never get bankrupt. Well sir, you definitely can survive if you work with the government but I don’t think you will achieve what you want to achieve.

One of my friend, that I always remember her quote: “If you want to be rich, government will not get you anyway”. Well, some might say I really have something against government. I AM NOT!!

I just speak out my opinion that we can do more in private sect as an employee.

If you want a stable future why can’t you just do it yourself then? Why can’t you save 10% of your monthly income, invest it slowly and at the age of 60 you can have your own pension scheme? EPF for example offer us a very good return and we can have our own business as part of our financial plan when we are retire at the age of 58 but most of us, choose the easiest step of all..spend all the 11% of the monthly salary that used to be saved in the EPF and wait for the government to pay us RM1500 every month after we retired.

To say the least, you save 10% of your monthly income, after 30 years of saving plus all the interest, you can have more or less RM100k when you are retire THEN, set up your own business and gain RM5-10k from it, instead of just RM1500 from the government?

You want RM1500 or RM5000-10,000…its in your hand.

The bottom line is, instead of thinking of how much you can spend with the pension money, why not we think of how to generate the money and earn more? Is it too difficult to do? You do not have to have any Master Degree to think of this kind I thing I guess.

Maybe some of us quite familiar with the story of teaching a bear cub of how to hunting instead of feed him.

Sometimes ago, I also shared with a friend regarding one situation. Normally when we have a function organized by one of our organization, the people that organized this will asking for a fund or budget so they can make things run. They will pay a singer to perform, they will invite all the VVIP people to attend and have the nicest meal they can afford to have with the budget, then after the event finished, they also finished at that. Left with zero, nothing.

Why not we look at the different scenario then?

Organized a function or event, pay a motivator to give talk, to share on how to be a positive person, to listen and learn how others can succeed in their life? Then, try to create some turnover from the budget? Say, open a booth and rent it out so we can gain some from it? Maybe can save some portion of the organization money in FD? Then, if they have profited from that, may be they can sponsor some of the potential kids from the organization to further they study ?

For me, it just a matter of choice, may be not many will choose the correct path for the first time but surely after so many times, happened to so many people, we still can’t urge ourselves to think OUT OF THE BOX?

Maybe our weakness is, the BOX. I really proud every time I see few people, my own people that I can call a success people in what they are doing. And sorry to disappointed you, these people, they didn’t get it in easy way. Because they are brave, they dare themselves to look outside the box. So, when they looked outside, they saw opportunity.

Another thing that really bother me is how my own people really hate it when they own people become more than them. Why does it become a problem to us, when someone else made it because of the efforts that they have made? Why do we have to bring them down, just because we can’t put ourselves at the top along with them?

I once heard a relative of mine said, “Sijil Beli” just because this young chap has studying in a private college? So, this chap labeled as not intelligent enough for not being chosen to study at IPTA or government university. Instead, they should have been proud because this young man, has made an effort to get his education, regardless of which college he got it from. He has a heart to enhance his own ability, not just sitting there after SPM and hoping to get a job with government and earn RM1200 a month with his SPM cert.

Sometimes, these kind of people really amaze me. I was wondering whey did they get the idea of “sijil beli”?

Then, this morning a friend sharing with me, how a community judging and pointing finger just because a lady, with her kind heart, supported and sharing the burden of her boyfriend in studying. And there comes the “nunduk ke orang laki” , “enda tegiga ke laki bukai”..come on la… what is wrong in doing that? What is wrong is supporting something or someone that is good? Did the lady loan or asking their money in doing so? I doubt it.

One of my facebook friend, last week, enraged by a scenario as he called it, “Bertuankan ai arak”..

I, myself sometimes went out and entertained some friends and of course we had few cans of beer but I never drunk myself out of my head.

Unfortunately, in our country, we do not have any clinic or programme for alcoholic because in our country, have no treatment for this disease. We treat drug addict but not alcoholic. So, in our mind, there is no alcoholic, they is nothing wrong in being drunk every day, become stupid because of the liquor and beating their wife when they were drunk, because we can do nothing about it. It’s okay to show to our kids our stupidity when we were drunk. Because there is no law against it.

So, this mental set will be inherited by the new generations. Finish the month’s pay in one week for karaoke and liquor, on girls and gambling.

I have experienced a lot in this matter.

Few weeks ago, a couple of husband and wife that was also my client (life insurance) called me and said that they wanted to terminated they saving in their policy. When the policy were still enforced, I went up and down to their place to collect the premium and help them to pay. When they said they want to terminate, after almost 4 years of enforcement (a lot of money has been saved) I have no say, because that was their right. And happened to be, there are some money in the fund to be refunded to them.

But deep in my heart, I am frustrated not because I will not receive any commission from their policy anymore (mind you, I have received a lot in the pass 3 years) but because I know, truly knowing that apart from this (the policy), they have no others saving. They only can maintained 2 of the policies out of the 4 originally applied and enforced. And now, they also lost it.

But, who am I to decide for their future? I am not giving up in my people because I know, many out there has make their step forward and I hope to see me, myself among them.

I just think that I am going to stop here for this time, but I will always talking about this thing and hopefully it can give some of us the wake up call. Well there is a big chancec that no one is going to read this for I know how our people react towards reading habits but I will never stop hoping, there will be more changing of attitude in our people. because everything is starting from our mind. If we think backward, we will left behind and the only people that can make the changes and make the first step ahead is the young and new generation.

Adios and see you soon...;)