Thursday, December 23, 2010


I always saying to friends and reminding myself that by telling ourself each morning, how we gonna be for the day, it will shaped the end of the day. For example, every morning when I woke, I said to myself, "I will have a great day today, regardless of what will coming to me in the whole day." Well, sometimes it doesn't really worked, because I am just a human being and there are things that easily can diverted my attention and focus and stressed me down. But for most of the times, it worked. Beautifully works! And when we always start our day with a bright and positive thinking, there is a big chance that it will last till the end of the day, at least.

Whenever we are in a negative situation, try to look for the positive side of it. Like Chinese believe in yin and yang, it is true to my own experience. Do not assume the negative outcome or answer but look for the positive energy or opportunity.


I came to an office to prospect. When I introduced myself as an life insurance agent, most of the people there will suddenly become busy. They will have no time to spare me and listen to my proposal. But, instead of turning my back and leave, I will wandering around a bit, approach someone closest to me.

My first Q is : hello, have u been working here long?

then that person will answer me short. as short as he can (avoiding eye contact with me) : just few months..

Me : where u come from sir?

prospect : Perak

Me : I see...this is the first time in Sarawak? U must have miss your hometown.

Prospect : Yes. At the beginning it was a bit hard but now, it's kind of ok..(he started looking at me)

Me : So how do u think of our place?

Prospect : nice...but the river is soo..big. It scared me at first..hehehe...(honest admission)

So, this is only the beginning. People would not chase you out if you are polite to them. Open Q and A works very well, I did not stop when their attitute said NO to me, but I mingled politely and people like it when I ask and wanted to know about them. It opened oppurtunity. If they said, "I have a policy already.." Then I will say, "If that so, let me give my service then. What do you recall about your policy? Or is there anything you want to ask or need me to help you since I am here now? It is my duty to give you my service"
Then they will say, "You are right, what if you explain and refresh me again on the features and benefits of my policy? I forget most of it already..."
then I will explain and talk to him. I will pass my business card and he will give me his number. So, I did not close any case but I make network. I'd builded a relationship. If, in the first time, when they welcome me negatively, I 'd just walked out of there, I will end up with nothing but frustration. But I tried to put some positive energy in myself and the prospect. I want them to give me positive response, so I need to give them the positive trigger.
okay, enough with that. Here is another story that I found in one of my Motivation books and I just love to share it with you all. Enjoy and think positive.

Who you are speaks louder to me than anything you can say

At the beginning of my 8:00 a.m. class one Monday at University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV), I cheerfully asked my students how their weekend had been. One young man said that his weekend had not been very good. He’d had his wisdom teeth extracted. The young man then proceeded to ask me why I always seemed to be so cheerful. His question reminded me of something I'd read somewhere before: “Every morning when you get up, you have a choice about how you want to approach life that day,” I said to the young man. “I choose to be cheerful". “Let me give you an example,” I continued.

The other sixty students in the class ceased their chatter and began to listen to our conversation. “In addition to teaching here at UNLV, I also teach out at the community college in Henderson, about seventeen miles down the freeway from where I live. One day a few weeks ago I drove those seventeen miles to Henderson. I exited the freeway and turned onto College Drive. I only had to drive another quarter-mile down the road to the college. But just then my car died. I tried to start it again, but the engine wouldn’t turn over. So I put my flashers on, grabbed my books, and marched down the road to the college.

“As soon as I got there I called AAA and asked them to send a tow truck. The secretary in the Provost's office asked me what had happened. ‘This is my lucky day,’ I replied, smiling. “‘Your car breaks down and today is your lucky day?’ She was puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’

“‘I live seventeen miles from here.’ I replied. ‘My car could have broken down anywhere along the freeway. It didn't. Instead, it broke down in the perfect place: off the freeway, within walking distance of here. I'm still able to teach my class, and I've been able to arrange for the tow truck to meet me after class. If my car was meant to break down today, it couldn't have been arranged in a more convenient fashion.’ “The secretary's eyes opened wide, and then she smiled. I smiled back and headed for class.” So ended my story to the students in my economics class at UNLV.

I scanned the sixty faces in the lecture hall. Despite the early hour, no one seemed to be asleep. Somehow, my story had touched them. Or maybe it wasn't the story at all. In fact, it had all started with a student's observation that I was cheerful. A wise man once said, “Who you are speaks louder to me than anything you can say.” I suppose it must be so.

Author: Lee Ryan Miller - story from his book "Teaching Amidst the Neon Palm Trees"

Monday, September 27, 2010


Hola!! Its been ages since my last entry..I think..;)) A good day today, bright shiny day. Hot? Of course but rain we also complain what..

Lately I just talked and debated inside my head. When I tried to ‘paint’ the thought out, the inspiration was just not there. So, I loosen up, didn’t want to push my lovely ‘brain’ too much, I just entertained myself by thinking quietly. Like always, observing and trying to look just outside the ‘normal range’. If only this keyboard can be moved just by thinking of each of the it comes to lazy level I guess..:))

Until last week, someone share one writing from an Iban female writer, Christina S. Suntai from Sebuyau with me in my facebook’s wall, and I was so intrigued by what she wrote. Not because she is really good (but then, her writing is good ) in it but mostly because she was right from the first words until the last one that she wrote. What did she write about? Again, something that I always like to talked about too, about my own people and the political situation in where we have been since ages ago. Why do I like to talk about politic then? Because nowadays, everything involving politics.

i.e Sibu in flood, blame the politician like he can hold the water from going beyond the river bank. Or am I wrong? But that was what I heard last month when Sibu town and the area next to it was in flood. **shrugging my shoulder**

In an office, people also practise their own politic. Some, even think they are so superior to show off their so called power and played their dirty trick very well to get to where they want to be..erks..that is politic. Like always..dirty!!

Okay, I just want to continue a little bit on Christina writing. She wrote in her first three para;

“The Iban community cannot afford to abandon the BN in the coming state election. To do so will mean they will suffer and be left behind, warned state assemblyman Snowdan Lawan.”

“In order words, if we decided to support the opposition parties, the likes of Snowdan Lawan will lost their positions and prestigious title of Yang Berhormats or Menteris. “

“Is it not our basic rights to have an informed decision before we vote for anyone? The politic of intimidation and division of your father’s time, Donald Lawan is over! This is the 21st Century. You are dealing with highly informed and educated Dayaks.”

Well, she is correct..absolutely correct!! She can talk about it very well because she is in the situation and I know very well too because I am (and a lot more of Ibans too) in the situation also. I am not surprise in everything she said.

These politic people have been from the beginning of the century if anyone can recall, have tried their very best to scared off our old folks in our village or long house by their warning that we will be suffer of will be left behind if we do not choose their party in every coming election but aren’t we suffering now? My long house in Lubok Tugong, in Batang Oya, under Dalat district and Sibu division, until now, I am 30 years old and have three kids already, has no clean water supply and electricity too. We still travel by long boat from Stapang or Nanga Tajam, you choose from where you want to depart, it still will get you ‘sunburn’.

So, on what ground do they think they have any right to tell us on who should we vote or choose to represent us?

Because they gave the long house folks the ‘atap projek’? Or the ‘enjin api’ projek? Or any other ‘wang ehsan’ (they like to give ‘ehsan’)? I am not very much upset by other politicians more than I am with my own people politician or representative. They are my own people but for me, they did nothing for their own people. BUT (again) why do they still can be our representative? That is the one million $ question. Why we still want to hire (the people hire him okay..)him if we got nothing from his service then? How long do we need to wait to see his capability? Another 20 years?

One thing I really don’t understand thou, every time when it come to the election, youngsters ‘shouting’ out loud in the cyber space against this incompetent leaders and we thought that this time, it will change but still, after that, we are back to the square ones when these leaders still there. So, what is wrong? If we want to change, we are the only one who can make the changes.

Now, let’s take it into action this time. If you think that ‘uncle’ will step down willingly, then there must be something wrong with your eyes. We just have enough of him. We do not reject the party but the person, but if the party insisting in keeping him in service, then the party will lose their support. That I am very sure of. We do not hate him out of nothing, we just want changes. It’s nothing personal really..we just need some ‘fresh air’. Enough is just enough. If he is really good, we don’t mind having him longer but still, he had done just too little especially for my own people, Iban. Like what someone said to me last few days, “to get him down his ‘throne’, there is only one way. That is, to change the whole administrator.”

I am sorry, personally, I do respect this ‘uncle’ but please la…people just need new and fresh idea. Why doesn’t he just retire with honor than stubbornly insisting on stay and at the end will bring his party down with him? Why he doesn’t want to give chances to the people that he said he love so much? To the country that he serve so long? For me, to love means to let go too.

When I asked some people on who they place their hope to lead this state in case the opposition does win the next coming election, one name come out frequently and I understand why do this people thinks he can do it (to lead) because he does appear to be competent in doing so in few of the circumstances.

What Christina wrote about the hospital service in Kuching was true to my own experience also (in other district and division) but I rather not talk about government service for the time being because one time ago, someone that I love and mean so much to me has been the victim when I wrote daringly about their system’s lousiness. That is what I meant by office politic just now. These people so mean they will hurt people around you if you speak of their weaknesses. Of course that was unfair but they only care of using their power to maintain their position and to go against anyone that is dare enough to speak about their incompetency. BUT one thing for sure, these people will be very hard to change or improve because they can’t accept others critics. And this kind of people also can’t be counted on to be a community leader because they definitely will be the selfish leader, like most of our leaders nowadays. They will be bound by their own arrogance.

So, lets us all make changes into our own future and our children’s future. Nothing illegal in doing so, so don’t worry. No one can sue you for voting for the opposition. We are not the communist country here.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Just A Wandering Mind

Canada's Next Top Model Cycle 1 Top 10

Just don’t know why I am so full of spirit today. Back from the office I watched the last episode of Canada’s Next Top Model Season 1 and my favorite contestant, the geek Andrea won as the first Canada’s Next Top Model. Who would ever thought of it? I saw the show from the first episode and when I saw her for the first time, she was only an ordinary tomboy like girl come from nowhere, I even forget her hometown. And my first impression of her was, “Oww..this girl is a bookworm..don’t think she can survive the third week la..” and even she herself said that in the first week, she missed her parent terribly and cried, telling that her parent was going to Africa and she will be very far from them. She really looked like a ten years old girl to me at that time. And she even mentioned that she didn’t mind if she was out in the first week. She was so lack of confidence and her body was stiffed in her first photo shot. She was a naïve little girl compared to others that really confidence that they were the winner from the beginning such as Brandi that only managed to stay until the last four. And she had trouble in accepting the judges decision in expelling her. Poor girl…

Ordinary Andrea

The judges really had trouble in choosing between Andrea and Alanna, a prettier girl if compared to Andrea but after six weeks of the contest, my favorite was always Andrea or Sisi the Asian girl that was full of energy and funny. I was always frustrated over my favorite not chosen as winner from the others Next Top Model show such as America and especially Australia’s one which I thought the judges was biased in choosing the winner. But this time I am so happy with whom they chose. Not that Alanna was not pretty but I looked more into their effort and transformation or progress during the whole time they were coached and guided to be a model.

Allana Shelast - 2nd place

For me, Andrea, as naïve as she was, was a determine girl, hardworking and most importantly, she was so humble and never thought of herself as a winner until the final 3 weeks. And she was so innocent in her look but when she was in front of the camera she is a grown woman. Who ever thought that naïve look little girl can look so sexy in her photograph? And that tomboy attitude all vanished in a flick of second.

Sisi Wang - 3rd place

I remembered she confessed that she purchased all her clothes and things from ‘GOODWILL’ and “The Salvation Army” a place where people can get things such as clothes in a very cheap price or sometimes were used items. She was laughed by others contestants on her appearance and in one episode I think when they were just left only four of them, Brandi and Alanna back talking and laughed at her outfit and Andrea cut the sleeves of her few dollars sweaters and made it her socks and she called her mom and said, it looked like a hundred bucks outfit. Then she said to the ‘diary camera’ that she didn’t care of what the other girls thought of it but I know, deep in her heart, she was hurt by Brandi and Alanna’s attitude. And I hate Brandi for that. She was just a pretty face with ugly heart. Then, every time I saw her (Brandi), I saw a very ugly girl.

Brandi - 4th place

This is a girl that people will remembered as nobody when she was first appeared on the screen but she learned from her mistake. Because of her lack of confidence and self cautiousness she used to talked back to Stacey (the runway coach and a top model too) in the middle of Stacey’s sentence and she was complained by Stacey on that and she cried and said that she did it because she wanted people to think that she know what they were trying to tell her or wanted her to do. I admired this girl for her innocence and willingness to adapt. It was not easy to be put in the middle of another nine girls that were prettier and more confidence than her and tried very hard to be seen amongst them.

In few of the episode I can saw that Brandi was a favorite and she won few of their contest. But I think the judges just didn’t like her comment on Sisi and said that Sisi wasn’t supposed and did not deserved to win because she wasn’t even born as Canadian. That count as a racist comment to me and maybe the judges thought so. And like Stacey said, she drinks. Well, who wants that kind of girl to represent their fashion product?

Seems like these girls tend to forget that they were supposed to be a presenter to the fashion designer or magazine. They always and sometimes most of the times forgot to care for their attitude in being so. If I am a designer, I would never want a negative attitude model to modeled my designs. That is how they should think but of course, most of them were just teenagers that was so excited with the prospects of being famous.

But I would like to quote Andrea as saying “I really want to win it. I’ve never had been respected before and I like it when someone said that I am beautiful and I just don’t want it to end. I just want to tell everyone that I’d made it and I am number one” Something like that and my heart goes for her. Really I myself have been in her place some other times before…not in a modeling reality show la..never even imagining it..hahaha…lucky me born as an ugly one. What I meant is that I used to be a girl with low self cautiousness and confidence during my teenage era..and sometimes now I still felt that way. It always amazed me how some women so cautious of their beauty and being proud of showing it off and can say openly that they think themselves as pretty or beautiful. Me? guts still not allowed me to say so..but I’d say myself pretty through my jokes, yes..;))

I have my own way in encouraging and motivating myself. By my writing and quotes and sharing it with others. By becoming a good listener and believing in hard work through hardness, I will do it. And most importantly, I have faith in God. I always a believer even if I am not a church goer. I believe in doing good deeds and speak out my mind in transparent manner and try to encourage others by sharing my own experience (that was not much of course). I always on for others opinion and always like to see things at different angle so I will get more understanding on the subject. And karma play an important role in my daily life. “What goes around will comes around” Justin said in his sexy song. Ooppss..I talk a lot of myself already..sorry guys.

Well, I just want to tell all the girls out there, physical beauty is nothing without inner beauty. From my own experience, first of course we will normally judged someone from their look, because that is what we first see right? People’s face..then we will check the apt of their attitude. But believe me, a pretty face comes with bad manner = ugly look. Try it if you don’t believe it. Meanwhile, ugly or not so pretty face + positive attitude + good manner = beautiful.

Another thing that will make a girl look ugly is when she keep on telling people that she is beautiful, or sexy and try to make others to response (praise them of course) to be alert of it and even agree with them.

Let’s add another factor that lead to an ugly look. A girl that always want others (men especially) to see their ‘inside of the T-shirt bare skin’. Erks..come on la..don’t they have any other X factor other than their physical body?

When I was at school, I used to think that pretty girl were just ‘mean’. I knew some group of female students who were popular and honestly, I always felt undermined by them. And they even ‘meaner’ by using their popularity to made others felt small. Well, it wasn’t all their fault thou to be born pretty and attention ‘attracter’ (got that word ka..). So being a competitor myself, I had to find another way to be as outstanding as them. And that way was, to be among the top grader and excel in everything I can. Heehehe.. I managed to accomplished some of the ‘mission impossible’ but rather not say it here la..or you might say that I am too proud of myself but that’s true what..I am proud of myself. Just remember not to be arrogant with the pride, that is enough. I can write (sometimes a very good output), I can handle public speaking, I can play netball (even if I am just 5 feet tall or short..), I play chess, carom, I can write poem sometimes if I can focused my mind on it..hehehe..and now I can cook la…) Pity me ya..have to worked myself harder than those pretty girls just to prove myself that I am somebody (for me myself la..) and happy with it.

What makes me wonder is, I did meet many female friends that are wonderful and very productive on their own way, without the help of their look. Who said not so pretty women can’t make it then? But I had knew one very beautiful student during my school time that really didn’t make it and I felt sorry for her because I know, it must be hard for her. I’m not sure now whether she had that syndrome (can’t recall the name) that unable someone to see clearly and steadily any letters resulted in a poor reading and studying. Because from what other students gossip, she barely can’t read but she was damn beautiful.

Now, hold it for a sec. I don’t want to be critical or unfair here. There are a lot of pretty women that really excel in what they doing and in reverse, they were numbers of ugly women that really can’t make it in their life. And I am not against anyone here, just to let all of girls and women out there know that, no matter how you look, how tall you are, how thin or fat you are, you can make it if you want too. Everyone have their own X factor and it doesn’t have to be a pretty face. Once you recognized the X factor, ‘sell’ it. I mean ‘sell’ in a good way ya..i.e if you can speak well plus good positive and high motivated attitude, be a sales person or marketing officer. If you can’t speak well but your hand so good in doing creative things, be a designer. You don’t have to talk much then.

As for me, I like to talk in my head until it felt like it’s going to explode sometimes, and I love the art of arranging words (if you know what I mean), so here I am blogging for us all to mess our head with my writing. Of course some might not agree with what I write but that is what I call nature balance..there will always be pro and contra in everything or our world will ‘senget’ (tilted). Just imagine that, in my writing I can say that the world can be tilted..hahaha….But hey..that is why I like to write too because I can explore my own creative imagination. Crazy Jessy…

Oh… by the way, the group of the famous pretty female student that I mentioned before, I’ve never heard of their where about now. I wish to know what had happened to them and changing news after this whole millions years. Huh..feel so old already ha..

Until next time..adios and may God bless..


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Some Other Things About Merdeka

Last 31 August 2010 was our country independence day. All Malaysian rejoice the moment and being grateful for what we have today. That day I was just staying at home with hubby and the kids and I watched this one documentary special for Merdeka Day in History Channel, "THE MALAYAN EMERGENCY" or translated to Bahasa Malaysia, "DARURAT DI MALAYA". It was a documentary of pre independence telling all the story of how Malaysia was few years back before the independence.

It really did attract my attention because most of the fact and info that they documented in it, I didn’t learn it in my school time. Our history subject regarding this event was very limited.

What I still remember in the history subject that I’d learned was that Malaysia independence was achieved by Malaysian, by our own people mostly. We used to hear that our generation is very proud of our ancestor for bringing our country their independence. Only few names that mentioned in the scene was from outside or other country. How we proud of our 1st Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman for being the person that made our people dream came true to have our own free country. And I am proud too..;))

Well, I just like to see things at the other side of the view. Because for me, by doing so, I can get more knowledge because our life is such a huge dimension and it is a loss to anyone who refused to see things other than what we already knew of. And by peeking at the other side of the box also, I can understand and embrace the difference and sometimes it is just surprise me of how things are just not as what we usually think it is.

Okay, back to the issue “The Malayan Emergency”.

It was only few years before our independent, when our great grandfather was fighting the communism in Malaysia and struggling to survive in the era that was full of tragedy and history.

I was amazed of how British really tried very hard to help us to get our independent by fighting the communist, by that time was lead by the infamous Chin Pei. At first place this communist was stated that they fight was to forcing out all the British estate runner or owner from Malaya because they thought that these British was manipulated and stealing all the rich sources of our country and fed their people in Britain with that (but of course they we existed earlier from the Japanese era with objective to fight the Japanese). Well, I do think that they have a point there despite the fact that only when the British came then we (the Malayan at that time) started to learned all the knowledge and skills in running and operating the estate and all the rich mine. BUT the problem was, when the British came, we were just ‘kuli’ at ‘our own’ estate, farm and mines. And we were not happy with it of course, so there came the communist (what they said la..) to hurled out every single British from our land.

And then these communist, Chin Pei communists became more and more out of control. They started to showed their seriousness by hurting and killing anyone (the Malayan mostly) that they thought as traitor when these people were just trying to survived by working with the estate owner, the British.

Honestly, during my school time, I always imagined that communist was Chinese but then when I watched this documentary and heard all the statement from the ex-commnunist themselves, a lot also are Malays and they were very determine and brave. And I think their leader, Chin Pei was also very intelligent, with his plan in stressing the locals and used them to provide for the communist their supply of food to survive in the jungle.
But then, their action made the people suffered as well. They succeed in killing one of the British commissioner, Sir Henry Gurney but the British never gave up on Malaya. They knew, if they need to let go of Malaya, they need to make sure that Malaya is really can stand on its’ own foot then only they can maintained the rich sources from Malaya. But one thing I really salute this British, they did not torture or killing all the communists as free as they could but they gave rewards and forgiveness to any of the communists that surrender themselves. I called it a ‘war psycho’ even the British didn’t call it a war (it was undeclared war) but ‘emergency’ (darurat) so that all the estate runner or owner can claim the insurance for the damages done to their property due to this ‘emergency’ (insurance wouldn’t cover damages caused by war).

After the death of Sir Henry gurney, they sent another commissioner, an ex-combat in the WWII. For me, he was the mastermind behind all the success in fighting against the communism. He is Sir Gerald Templer.

Do not forget all the troops that were sent from other country in helping Malaya to eased this communism problem. People were suffering. Chinese were moved to a camp to isolate them from these communist so they will not have any supply to live in the jungle. Kids were killed just because they were thought to be an informer to the British. For a minute, I thank God for not living in this era. And being grateful for what I have now.

These communist were just so clever. To take note that Chin Pei was trained by the British intelligent himself before he lead The Malayan Communist Party.

Sir Gerald Templer for me was the smartest when he reversed all the communist techniques by doing all the opposite. When Chin Pei tried to use force to get support from the Chinese farmer, Sir Gerald Templer won the hearts of the people by listening and talking to them and tried to lessen their fear. He recruited more battalions that were joined by Chinese and they have to defeat their own people in jungle (for most communist were Chinese).

In another way, this strategy has brought all the different ethnic group and races of people together. And Sir Gerald Templer has managed to get the Sultans in Malaya to agree to give all the Chinese and Indian their citizenship, the most valuable status for them at that time.

Army from others Commonwealth country such as Australia and New Zealand also involved themselves (apart from British army themselves) in the undeclared war against the communism so that Malaya can get its’ independent that was promised by British long before.

Bukit Kepong incident showed the spirit of the people to defeat the communists. Policemen, their wives and kids were killed and burned during the incident.

The British still hasn’t give up. Along with the local forces team, they plan their tactical and bribed the members of the communist to surrender their high rank officer and it’s worked!! The member of the MCP were exhausted and some were just more than willing to returned to their normal life and betrayed their own leaders by surrendering their information and arms.

Chin Pei last plan was to tackle the Orang Asli and using their skills to survive in the deep jungle during their last straw to hide themselves from the army. And once again , Sir Gerald Templer succeeded in cutting off their (the communist) link with the Orang Asli and in doing so, he provided education to them. I really like this fact the most.

And at the end, the MCP was just had it enough. They broke their people into smaller unit in the jungle and many got out from the jungle and surrender themselves. They were out of food supply and tired. Their brilliant leader vanished to the South of Thailand.

And not long after, British declared Malaya as independent country with their own king or Sultans and ministered their own government and people and managed their own sources.

For me, one thing that I’d learned is that, we gain our independent by the help of others. So please do not put our pride too high on ourselves and claim that others are not valuable to us. We might still fighting the MCP without their helping hands. Let us start respecting others and do not forget, one country does not made by one man. Just stop being arrogant and think of others races or ethnics sensitivity also. If there is any issue in our own community, try to look out for the incompetence and improve instead of aggressively defended ourselves and pointing fingers because problem does not solve that way and we can’t claim ourselves as educated if we refuse to accept others critics and refuse to make things better and become self centred.


Last but never least, Happy Merdeka day to all Malaysian. We are the most unique country in the world for we are made of more than one ethnic group and races. Do not hate one another just because they speak the different language or have the different skin colour. God made us different so who are we to deny others existent?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Yesterday I was checking on God Want You To Know application in my facebook profile and the words was; “You have been asking a it’s time for you to listen to Him...” and it mentioned about meditation as a way to listen to God through our heart. And being an ignorant person myself, I never thought of this, of not listening enough to Him even I have full faith in Him. Yes, I was asking and keep on asking but little did I listen for all this time to His words. And it saddened me to realise that. So this time I search through the net and try to observe and understand the words of God that I found in there. Surprisingly, it did relieve me to know the beautiful words from our bible, just a little of it is enough to make me feel peace inside my heart. So, I just want to share my favourite words from our holy bible that has been our guidance since eternity. Enjoy and try to absorb...

This kind of selfishness is rooted in pride. When someone serves their own interests at the expense of someone else, that person is saying, “I am better than him. I deserve this more.” We want people to notice us, and we want them to think we have it all together. But allowing pride in our lives is the exact opposite of how God wants us to respond to Him.

He must become greater; I must become less (John3:30).

Courtesy from

That is what I meant when in my prayer I always mentioned we are ignorant. As human, we are just weak. We like to be superior from everyone else and we forgot that is against God’s will. We think we are good, better than others because we think we have what others do not have. But what we ignore is the fact that God made us all equally, with our own strength and weaknesses. There come the phrase; “No one is perfect” but still we choose to act arrogant in front of Him by belittle others and trying to hurt others so that we can feel better.

I must become less, from my point of view means to be humble. Control our act to boasting around about who we are. We often described ourselves as beautiful, succeed, smart, sexy, handsome, lucky and bla..bla..bla..and indeed some are true to their description but what many of us always forget to put into our ‘resume’ of attitude is kind hearted. Is it because we think that it is not getting us any way in our life? Or that being kind hearted will not show how superior we are in front of others? Or because being kind hearted makes us a humble person and being humble will make us losing all the material ambitions that we have? BUT what we always forget too is that humbleness is the only thing that will gain us the respect. Can we buy respect? Can we force others to respect us just because we are sitting on the number one chair in the office? Maybe some do not care of how they got the respect but for those who know God and believe in Him, they will definitely care. I care because of that I was often hurt because for me, no use in talking back if someone has telling us that they are the powerful one, they are the mightiest one, for I know, when it comes to this point, it is their business with God, not me anymore. So, let God deal with their arrogance. Who are we to say we are more than others when we clearly know also that we are equally God’s handmade. But to get it straight, I also not against it if anyone want to behave arrogantly because it is their right. Only that like I said before, now it is their business with God. We are just no one, no one to judge and punish.

Child’s faith
'Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favour that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace. Thus, it is just as impossible to separate faith and works as it is to separate heat and light from fire! Ask God to work faith in you, or you will remain forever without faith, no matter what you wish, say or can do.'

Martin Luther on 'Galatians 3:1-14'

I am not a church goer. I will never admit that I am one. But inside my heart, I have one place for me to put my faith to God. I believe that He is around even when I was at the lowest point of my life. I believe that even when I suffer, that is a sign of God’s love and recognition of my strength because for me, He will never put me in a test if He thinks I can’t make it. And I always believe when He took something away from me, there is a better chance He will give much more than that.

God’s made all the beautiful and ugly things..we are to be grateful for the balance.

What I mean is, every time He throws anything to me, regardless of how bad or good that thing is, I always learned from it and it brought me some changes that made me grow and became wiser in seeing the world. His way of showing His love just madly funny sometimes but God is God, He is our creator and He has all the right on how He wanted to show His love to us. And each times, I will be more conscious of the reason I was given each day, to appreciate everything and everyone around me and be grateful for His blessing. To remind me that I have responsibility towards my family, my friends, employer and community. To remind me that I am to be nice to those people around me. But of course, I am just a human being, God’s creature and I do make mistakes. No exception..only that I always turned to Him every time I was in that situation, and I will accept anything He thinks is fit for my ignorant behaviour. I accepted everything He has for me.....

Never think that when we are in suffering moment, He is punishing us. Maybe He just want us to be mature and learn from the suffering. Or maybe He wants us to look at the different perspective. Or maybe He wants us to know ourselves better by recognising our own strength to deal with the suffering. For me, there is always a reason why God made and do everything.

So, I am truly hope that we will see something from our sharing on this. But of course, everything I elaborate, I think, I said and write here is from my own point of view. It has nothing to do with any books or person. Only those wording from the net, I did highlighted them out. From the beginning when I started sharing in my blog, I do not see what the importance is to write based on a book or fact. If that so, anyone can get the book from the bookstore, no need to bother yourself to read my writing here. I am me, I write from my heart, what I feel and how I look things differently. So, if anyone do not agree with me, I apologize and I am to respect that too because like I always said, it is everyone’s right. And to get everyone attention, I do not stated any specific name in this writing of mine.

Until we meet again, adios and may God bless us all......salam....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Student Vs Teacher

Let us start our entry with few jokes that I’ve found in the website. They are so funny and cute. And from that, whether they really happened or not, we have a picture in our mind of how clever are these kids and they are full of enthusiasm and idea that we might never think of.

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! creative these kids are? To think that we as an adult know better and think better? Let’s try some ;

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

My own children, all the times they never fail to amaze me. By their new vocabulary or act..they are just fantastic in their own way.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

Most of the times, we always assuming as an adult, we say all the correct thing, act all the correct way and we tend to ignoring their way of expressing themselves because in our head we thought, they are just kids, they should not be treated like an adult because they are not thinking like one.

Okay..actually I want to talk about the ‘hot’ video that was share by my friends in the facebook and for these couple of weeks, everyone speak out their mind and opinion regarding what happened. The video was a recording of a student from in one of Sarawak school, aged 15 punched his own teacher after a quarrel.

BUT, before I go further, I would like to get things clear here that my intention is just like always, to bring us to think outside of the box and to ‘see’ at the other side of the view. No intention to judge or blame anyone. We just try to look from our children view or from teenagers @ student view. How we see think differently because we used to thought differently when we were just a teenager, right?

So, I will apologize beforehand to everyone that might not agree with me regarding this and I am always being grateful for all the teachers that has their part in shaping me as who I am today. Definitely, I will always owe it to them my knowledge and I appreciate it. Without them, how am I to write here now?

Okay, maybe many have seen the video for it was aired on the news at that time and youtube as well as others media and facebook of course.

BUT, when most of people said that what a rude that student was, he was not supposed to talk back to his teacher and most important, he was not to punched the teacher. But at that time, I still did not know what was really happen because my desktop was ‘mute’ does not has speaker so, I can’t listen to their conversations, so I just can’t comment much on the video. This morning my best friend got me to watched it from her notebook then, I catch up on the conversation.

This is what I can shortlisted to few lines of conversation, and I translated it to English here (their conversation was in Bahasa Malaysia) but it was not in order..mind me.

The student “I tried to explained that I did not do it but you refused to listen to me.”
The teacher “now you can say it, you just say it..”
The student “what the use of explaining it now, it’s too late”
The teacher “see how is your attitude...bla bla should go to other school..”
The student “you are the one who should go..” “I’ve told you that I am innocent but you never listening and still blaming me..”
The teacher “mampus la..” meaning..go to hell..
The student “you go to hell...”

That is what few of the conversation that I managed to catch during their quarrel and for me, it is just enough. Enough to noticed that that kid was upset and crying, enough to see that that teacher, standing in front of him and keep on ‘heating up’ the ‘flame’. And just in case no one noticed, the teacher was holding a long cane and strongly thumped it on the floor or table (can’t really see that) several times.

Well, from that, there is only one thing I can say, as an adult, we know very well that we are not suppose to upset others and pushed them to their limit. The kid is just 15 years old, what the use of tongue fighting against that small kid? As a teacher that responsible to teach these kids discipline may be few things should be take into mind;

(i) Never provoke others and push them too far because everyone has their limit
(ii) As an adult, we are suppose to handle the situation, taking into matters the bottom line of the problem instead of keep on shouting back but talk everything slowly and tenderly as we could because they are just human like us
(iii) As a teacher I think they did have a psychology lesson in their training term to handle teenagers and their behaviour and one of it definitely, not to fight fire with gas ( that phrases ka..). Or in BM “kekerasan jangan dilawan dengan kekerasan”
(iv) Listening is the best tool to cope with trouble teenager. As a teenager myself once upon a time (hahaha..) I really respected any adult regardless they were my teacher of just a relative if they willing to listen to my problem instead of being angry and scolding me

Okay, that is just few because I think many out there know very well and better than me. Of course the kid was wrong too. As a student we should have respect for our teacher. May be he was so angry and feeling upset but still, hitting others is wrong no matter who they are, and especially if they are our teacher. When I was at that age, I had my own problem to coped with during my school time with some of the subjects that I hate, living in boarding school and have to follow order all the time and plus some of the teachers really lousy in their teaching and make me slept in my seat.

But, when it comes to term and discipline matter, I had never, ever talking back to my teacher. No matter what they accused me for, I did it or not, I preferred to silent myself because I knew very well, no use to fight the ‘commando’ when you are just the small ‘prebet’. So, just accepted it whatever it was. And of course inside I burnt like hell.

Back to our issue. If you ask me, I will suggesting that both or them, the teacher and the student should undergo therapy and counselling (if we have any). Dispelling any of them will cause more damage. To correct them is better for they are both important to our future.

And, I would like to say that I respected more one of the teacher that was in white shirt, tried to calm the kid down. And I do not know who was the one, the lady that was sitting on the couch, watching them without doing nothing like she was watching a TV drama.

Besides, as an adult, whether a teacher or not, we should teach the youngster to respect by showing them the attitude too. Because when you respect others, you also gain some from them. That is 110% true.

From my experience, those teacher that showing respect and understanding towards their students tend to get more bright student from their teaching.

When I was in form 2, I despised maths subject because the teacher (but I do not felt that anymore) always being impatient and scolding us if we failed to answered her question. That really made me felt like I was useless and unmotivated. But when I was older then I try to study in accounting, all about numbers, I can felt in love with the numbers. And of course my lecturer was very good in attracting my interest. I think that is what a teacher do, attracting interest instead of giving their student a reason to hate the teaching.

Well, we are big guys, please do not have any prospect in winning a quarrel over small kids because it will not getting us any better than them. Just because they are young and small, we think that we do not have to respect them, that is totally not right.

Do the job because you really fit to be an example to our next generation and because you really care to educate them, not because the pay. And I think that is the main reason when teaching become a burden to some teacher and sometimes, they just can’t handle it because it is not in their heart. They do it because they have no choice but to work for the salary.

Nothing wrong in listening to those young hearts. Teaching them to nurture all the good attitude. Talk and discuss, changing opinion with student do not mean that the teacher is loss his respect, it will gain him more of the respect.

For student, maybe it is hard now, have to listen to the eldest all the way from when you open your eyes until you close your eyes and sleep at night but, just think of that as a love, caring way the elders to protect you from the unexpected future. Only that some adult might showing their caring attitude in different way because they themselves is not perfect but I am very sure they mean well. When all of you grow up, you will know, how worry we are as an adult for you, because you are the prospect leaders of our future. Our nation is in your hand, you will shape it. Of course we have a right to be worry.

Do not just forcing everyone to behave correctly when we ourselves fail to do so. For example, during my school time, teachers were strictly against dating. For them, that was the biggest crime in the education system. BUT then some of them, courting with their student during their last term at school and at the end, made them their housewife. But of course it was not against the law, because after SPM, all the female student can do whatever they want to do. Only that, when we try to teach moral, let us show the moral first.

Some of the teacher also, siding with the students that is dating each other because they were also dating other fellow teacher, so to justified their act, they gave the green light. But before that, this said teacher, rock solid against this dating habit.

Anyway, let us take whatever happened in the video as an example for us, so we will not underestimate each other, adult or youngster in the future. We are human, we have feeling and sometimes, if it is push to much, we break.

Until we meet again, salam and salute to all teachers that has been sacrifice and given their services for the goodness of our people and to the youngster, may God be with all of you and remember that you are the backbone of a country.

Let’s ended this with this cartoon that I found in the internet..

Monday, August 9, 2010

Little heart....

I can't imagine whats inside the boy's head when he saw that little 'clone' of cute.

This is how a small child always break our heart, with their innocent and funny faces. Sometimes we just do not expect to get that expression from anywhere else. As a mother of three kids, I can say that I have felt in love everytime I first saw my children faces after they were born. This feeling jus unexplainable. So, the phases that we only felt in love once can't be use in this scenario rite?

Last few days I went to a bank near to my office. When I was queing at the cash deposit machine there, my eyes caught the notice that was posted to the wall. just next to the entrance door. It was saying..

"Pernahkah Anda Melihat Kanak Kanak Ini? Nisha, 2 tahun, hilang sejak April 2010....."

in translation : "Have You Seen This Child? Nisha, 2 Yrs old, have been missing since last April...."

How my heart break seeing the photo of her (Nisha), and thinking of my own daughter, same age as her too. How I know, really know that kids at that age really need to be with their mother. Then, all the story flooded back to me...few weeks ago, in the news, some people were caught and brought to justice for kidnapping small children and sell them for profit. My friend even shared with me that some group of people were arrested for selling small children's kidney in "black market."

My God...I just can't imagine my little girl around someone that is a total stranger to her, for she is very fragile and afraid of those people that she is not use to. And she has asthma and it could occur if she doesn't feeling comfortable to her surrounding.

I just can't imagine how this little Nisha...coping with strange people around her, away from her really almost bring tears to me thinking of that. And how the family always hoping and wishing her well being..and I hope by this time, she is found and is with her family (for that notice might have been there for sometimes and maybe she has been found since then, sound and safe).

But one thing that I really can't understand is, how greed, bring some people to cross the border of normal behaviour and making these small, innocent children their victims. For God's sake, they are just small children, that know nothing but to call their parent muumy and daddy...

Quite a number of the cases that happened in this few years...some of the victims were sexually abused and tortured to death because of men's sick mind. How can that small little creature aroused you that much? It is just out of my context of thinking. But these people, even thinking of it, make me sick to my stomach..really..really..really sick..

I even watched and read from Oprah Show and website, one case involving a girl named Elizabeth if I'm not mistaken after more than 15 years, the girl was found in the backyard of the kidnapper house, that was at that time under parole and that girl has been raped and confined for the whole time and bore her 2 children from that. And my question come the community did not realised all this happening in their neighbourhood? So, the easy answer is "ignorant". because we are so afraid that others will say that we mind others business, we tend to keep our eyes shut to everything that happened around us.

But let us look into the meaning of ignorant and minding their own business..

(i) Ignorant = We know that something is not very right, something is suspicious but we just brushed it aside because we think, what the is not my problem. They can kill anyone they want, can rape any girl they like to rape as long as it is not me or my family or my friends.

(ii) minding their own business = people that do not want to become interfere in others matters and keep quiet about others secrets so that they won't get others name smeared.

but..what does those thing telling us? Being ignorant should be avoided or we might mourn our own tragedy. Knowing something is not right from your instinct and judgement, nothing wrong in questioning and asking for advice over that matter. You might save a live. But of course not by disturbing and over react over something that you have no proof to prove. You get what I meant..

Minding our own business is a good practise but still if your heart telling you that you need to speak or do something regarding that matter, then THERE IS SOMETHING in there and some need to perk up their nose and ear. We prefer to felt guilty in interfering between husband and wife quarel than regret it later when one of them is dead because we just DON"T want to interfere in the first place. No ..I should has do this, I should has do that...

I am just hoping that we all can pray for all those missing children in the world and for Nisha especially, so they will be found and return to their family where they are belong. May God bless all those kind hearted with their prayer and protect our children from any evil act. Anything, we only make this world a safe place for our children if we love more and being honest to the people around us...

Adios and see you...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Just For Fun

Courtesy from Readers

(courtesy of Readers

just for fun...

Today is Saturday and I am sitting on my desk, pampering myself a bit and browsing the internet for the news, then for the motivational quotes and lastly, I just thought that I really need something to crack a smile..

After this working hour, we will have our BBQ at Tanjung Batu beach and I am planning to bring the kids along. Everyone in the house need sometimes out for this weekend. We miss hubby dearly but life must go on with the kids..

Hopefully they will enjoy themselves later..still thinking of what games to bring so the kids won't get boring and making scene.



What a day….I had breakfast with a colleague early this morning and when I came back to the office and sign in to my FB account, I saw a message from my dear hubby. He started by saying, “I have a bad news…” and ended it with “are you angry with me?” He is not kidding when he said that it was a bad news. As planned, he is to coming home to us by today as usual and spending the 2 limited days of weekend with his family, his wife and kids after a whole week being afar from each other.

As in normal days and usually, I am not easy to get angry over things but this times, after some horrible things that has happened in this couple of weeks, it really got into my nerves. I just can’t help myself but to get it out from my hurting chest.

When I accepted the offer to work here (Bintulu), the decision was made for the sake of the family’s future and most importantly, for the children’s future. We were positively sure that we will have to make some sacrifice, the most obvious one is we will be separated by more than 100 miles from each other. We (my hubby and me) were pretty scared by the picture (I knew he was scared even he didn’t say it) of me and the kids living alone here, without any friends and family to turn to in case we are in need. The town so new and foreign to us and the girls are just so little and innocent.

Well, my hubby said that he has to be on traveling by this evening to rural area in Kanowit district, named Ulu Poi because our beloved YB is coming to that area to registering everyone from that area to enable them to vote in the coming election (and of course they are killing 2 birds with a stone) and apparently that involving the department at where hubby is working and he has to go too. And that area is about 5-6 hours from Kanowit town, once they are there, you can't get in touch with them because there is no phone signal there (and you pray every day so there will be nothing happen to your husband and there is no way for people to inform you) and they are only to comeback the day after tomorrow, that is Sunday. So, can he say NO? That is not an option obviously..

And how do I reacted to that?

I was very upset of course and after everything we’ve been through from the previous months and last couple of week, I just can’t hold it anymore and I complaint on my FB wall. I was so angry by the prospect that, that 2 days weekend that we waited for the whole week so the girls can see their, I can at last talk to someone about what we’ve gone through the whole week and of course, we miss him the whole time from Monday until Friday…and the plan suddenly all gone…

Last couple of weeks, I cried myself almost every night because the girls were sick and I was helplessly almost can’t cope with everything, the work and 2 sick kids at home. I had to asked permission from my employer to came back home after 2-3 hours of working hours for worrying to death of their situation. And at the same time, I was having that weird lump underneath my armpit and I almost lost my sanity thinking that I can’t get sick or having any illnesses because my children are desperately depending on me. I had to bear the pain to myself and being strong for the children. It was terrible and I do not at any point, suggesting that experience to anyone..not that anyone want that thou. I was so scared, I didn’t want to have medical check up by myself so I decided to wait for my hubby to come but by Friday, of course he can’t came back that early and I just missed my appointment. And by that time, the lump has gone. BUT now, I think I am having it on the other side of my body, underneath my armpit. And it does hurt..but how can I complaint when everyone here have to turn to me on everything and when you are a ‘back bone’, you have to be as strong as a steel. And again, we are alone.

Yes..I blamed everything and everyone that I could think of. I blamed the government (hubby is a government servant) for having their lousy system, requiring their staffs to work on weekend when that time is suppose to be spent with the family. Especially when you only can see them once in a week, for 2 days only. I blamed the YB for being so inconsiderate taking those men off their value time with their family. I blamed the highest management of their department for delaying hubby’s transfer process with excuse after excuse. I blame the system..yes..the lousy system when others so easily can get their transfer done, even the office required other person with the same post to transfer to other division (and he has a family to moved with him) so, the transferee can be posted to her choice of place, of course without purely agreement (but no choice) from the original post holder. I blamed them when, the ‘red tape’ is a burden to their employees. Why when a one day job (can be done in 1 day) have to go through the whole lot of level of actions and very time consuming? When the Japanese becoming so far ahead of us because of their timing value and a good time cost management, we still enjoying others suffering to wait and wait and wait for their (the employer, the government..whatever or whoever it is) action? I really want to hear their (whoever they are) explanation on what good does all those red tapes to us, as a person, an employee, employer or a country?
And I know, some will say I am talking rubbish here. But you are welcome to try it dear, 2 kids in hand, missing your husband like hell after a week separated and have to worry like hell when he needs to travel each Friday night for almost 4 hours to be with his family? When your children asking you, “where is daddy” for every single day and you have to hold your tears and explain that to them and wept yourself to slept, knowing that you have no choice but to sacrifice that much for getting some little extra for what ‘that employer’ pay your husband every month? How am I not to be angry when as a wife, I was left almost every weekend night by my husband because he was requiring to be on travel but at the end when the ‘employer’ supposed to pay for their (employers) sweat, they cut down the claim? How am I to be patient when an offer to change to other post at new rate of pay dated a year ago but only done in this year? How am I to stand it all when all the cost for traveling back and forth to be with his family consumed almost RM500 a month?

And why are we doing this? If it is too hard for us, then why are we willing to do it?

THEN: what choice do we have but to rely on the so call ‘employer’ their understanding so that we can have a better way of life? All we are asking is, stop the red tape, start thinking like a human being instead of ‘thinking technically like a system’ so people will be happier working with them and no family have to choose to be together or to have a better life but not together.

If I am to be call a ‘no brain’ because I want what best for us and we deserve it as an employee and a citizen, then, I will give you the pass. I am not a brainer. So what..I just want my husband to be granted his transfer so my children will have their father and we can pursue our aim. If I am a stupid because I felt upset because my husband can’t come home this weekend but has to work on the days that they had given to their staffs as their off days..then many wife and mother are stupid too I guess.

BUT there is one thing I am very sure of, if you do not understand or refuse to understand of what I am feeling now and judging me by acting tough on this, then you still can’t say that you are human enough to understand others as a human too. A human will not react to nothing unless he is insane enough to be put in an asylum.

And how I wish everyone else that do not understand will experience the same less, no extra, so we will know what does ‘emotion’ mean. Am I stupid for being emotional and needing support from others to go through my situation? You tell I that bad showing my emotion and spoke out all those things that I can see (of course I can’t see all..I am not a genius here..I am the stupid one). And of course I spoke out my mind, honestly from my mind of what we are having through. How I wish people can try others life just like they are putting their feet in others shoes. I am not trying to answer a quiz here and give all the right answer, I just pointed out my own point of view and being angry for the lack of the awareness and asking and wishing for the appropriate action to be taken so that no family is separated because they want to have a better life.

Instead of being so defensive why not this people, look through what is not there and try to do the repair?

If you are a restaurant operator, if a customer said that your soup is too salty, instead of scold back the customer, easier if we lessen the salt. Or am I wrong too? Why can’t we trying to be more understanding of others difficulty?

Well…I apologize if I did sometimes really tough on my statement but I think I have the right to.

And I can foresee that in next year, if hubby is still not granted his transfer, my life will be more hectic for one of the girl will be in her pre school. Just imagine how fun it is, handling everything by your own and cry at night after you think that you almost can’t do it in the afternoon.

If I am to choose, I prefer my hubby to be in private line. More open opportunity and choices. Not bound to any ridiculous red tape but have more chances to move forward based on his own performance..but of course I can’t choose for him. It is his decision and definitely, if he choose the later, many will call him stupid too. But I will always by his side no matter what he choose. If he is stupid then he is my stupid husband, not others.

But many I’ve found very understanding thou. That is just what I needed..I didn’t say a specific name and scold them ‘membabi buta’ but I just spilled out what I felt and being honest with it. If I am so wrong, why then so many did agree with me? Maybe because they are just understand and wisely knew that what I want is support, not a correction and judgment.

Apart from that, all goes very well today. I am sad and missing my husband and the girls too but I do feel better and I am glad for having so many friends that is willing to accept me as who I am. Friends that know when to debating right or wrong and know when the time is correct to be just supportive.

But I am not offended, nor do I blaming any other person at thinking of what they are thinking. I am me, I am not perfect, I am not clever and definitely not a beauty..;) I am just an ordinary person struggling from the lowest point of my life to have a better life and am still struggling but do take something into mind, I am a Scorpio and I have been through almost everything that people will think as impossible and I can survive all that, so sometimes, when people questioned my wisdom, they hit the most dangerous point that there is in me. I might not ‘selling’ all the greatness about myself but that is because I don’t like to bragging.

So, always be humble and true to ourselves. Acting arrogant will not bring anyone to any way. May be people nod their head but not necessary agree with us. If we are to think we are good, more out there is better than us, I am very sure of it.

And now, I just need to live it day after day, being thankful for everything He throw to me even if it hurts sometimes because I know, He can see how strong I am then He test me. For the sake of the children, hopefully what we are going through right now will make us stronger.

So thank you to all friends that had given their comfort words and asking in concern towards my well being, I am really grateful for them. They are the best of persons I could have as friends even most of them never see me in person. Maybe we can see more of that person through their writing then…

Last but not least, always be grateful and try to be more concern toward others might give us more wisdom.

Until we meet again…may God bless you all…

Humble me;


*actually this is prepare at 10.07 pm, Friday night at my home and I will post it to jessysvoice early in the morning*

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Mindset (Part II)

I have been talking about mindset last few weeks before in part I. Now, I just want to continue on some of the issue that I personally think is important to highlight it to have our young generation, especially from my own group of people, Iban.

In the 1st part of Mindset, I have talked about how our people holding ourselves back by exercising negative attitude in our daily routine and the way we think. Like I said before, if we want to have our music video publish, why don’t we do it in the best way that there is?

Instead of showing the old shabby long house of us, why don’t we filmed the music video in a more modern long house? Instead of drinking ourselves to half dead with our husband money, why not, we as a wife, save a part of it for the future of our children education and to have a proper financial planning when our husband is retiring or just in case if anything does happened to them as a breadwinner? Why can’t we think of the future and taking a secure step towards it?

Now, lets us open our heart and try to understand and look into the bottom of the whole thing. I am not suggesting that everyone should agree with me but my intention here is just to bring the matter into a thought and maybe some of us can make use of some of the sharing point.

Choosing an Occupation

I think more than hundredth times already, I have encounter and see this situation where some of the parents, when it comes to the best choice of occupation ever, without hesitation will say, work in a government sector is the best job ever.

I am not against any government servant for my own husband (and I am always proud of him) working with one of the government department and I am, if not very well, may be slightly understand the way it’s work.

Honestly, looking into the system now, working with government would not getting us any further away from what we are having now. Why? I am not saying that it is not good, it just that the system does slow down the step if one want to move forward to the front.

For example, as a government staff with the average grade that is either A11-N17, started at the age of 23-25 years old, the salary ladder will be barred at RM2k after 20-25 years of working and maybe, if taken into consideration and give it an extra credit, during retirement, they are entitled for RM1500 of monthly pension and to give more credit into it, an increment of RM50-70 a year after that until age 80.

Versus, someone that started working in, say, in oil & gas industrial at the age of 25 as a rigger in an oil platform with a monthly salary of RM1500 (average for starter) without taking into account whether they have the SPM cert or degree. In another 5 years, working in the same line consistently just the same hours they spend to work in the government sect, 8 hours a day, this man can earn up to RM7-8k for a month. Why is that?

Because :

In government sect, we are bound with the system. No matter how hard you work your ass out, how good your performance was, you can’t get more than what they have in paper for you because it was ‘inked down’, fixed at that rate. Different with private sect, the grading system is more open, we don’t have to rush the quota. In most big companies, the performance is the main thing. I have quite a number of people that I’d known become success because they are really good in they performance, not because they have the degree. This people really have what it takes. They started from the lowest step of the ladder and managed to be on top because they really are good in doing their job not because the paper said, they have the certs so they should be paid by this much or that much.

So, if you work under this type of people, you are the most lucky employee because this type of people will not look down on others, they will appreciate your hard work, believe in your determination. They do not curious over that piece of paper that most other people with proudly showing off to others but when it comes to doing they job, they are just suck.

BUT still I can see that my own people, looking highly on government job, because once I heard a father said, government job is the most stable of job, government will never get bankrupt. Well sir, you definitely can survive if you work with the government but I don’t think you will achieve what you want to achieve.

One of my friend, that I always remember her quote: “If you want to be rich, government will not get you anyway”. Well, some might say I really have something against government. I AM NOT!!

I just speak out my opinion that we can do more in private sect as an employee.

If you want a stable future why can’t you just do it yourself then? Why can’t you save 10% of your monthly income, invest it slowly and at the age of 60 you can have your own pension scheme? EPF for example offer us a very good return and we can have our own business as part of our financial plan when we are retire at the age of 58 but most of us, choose the easiest step of all..spend all the 11% of the monthly salary that used to be saved in the EPF and wait for the government to pay us RM1500 every month after we retired.

To say the least, you save 10% of your monthly income, after 30 years of saving plus all the interest, you can have more or less RM100k when you are retire THEN, set up your own business and gain RM5-10k from it, instead of just RM1500 from the government?

You want RM1500 or RM5000-10,000…its in your hand.

The bottom line is, instead of thinking of how much you can spend with the pension money, why not we think of how to generate the money and earn more? Is it too difficult to do? You do not have to have any Master Degree to think of this kind I thing I guess.

Maybe some of us quite familiar with the story of teaching a bear cub of how to hunting instead of feed him.

Sometimes ago, I also shared with a friend regarding one situation. Normally when we have a function organized by one of our organization, the people that organized this will asking for a fund or budget so they can make things run. They will pay a singer to perform, they will invite all the VVIP people to attend and have the nicest meal they can afford to have with the budget, then after the event finished, they also finished at that. Left with zero, nothing.

Why not we look at the different scenario then?

Organized a function or event, pay a motivator to give talk, to share on how to be a positive person, to listen and learn how others can succeed in their life? Then, try to create some turnover from the budget? Say, open a booth and rent it out so we can gain some from it? Maybe can save some portion of the organization money in FD? Then, if they have profited from that, may be they can sponsor some of the potential kids from the organization to further they study ?

For me, it just a matter of choice, may be not many will choose the correct path for the first time but surely after so many times, happened to so many people, we still can’t urge ourselves to think OUT OF THE BOX?

Maybe our weakness is, the BOX. I really proud every time I see few people, my own people that I can call a success people in what they are doing. And sorry to disappointed you, these people, they didn’t get it in easy way. Because they are brave, they dare themselves to look outside the box. So, when they looked outside, they saw opportunity.

Another thing that really bother me is how my own people really hate it when they own people become more than them. Why does it become a problem to us, when someone else made it because of the efforts that they have made? Why do we have to bring them down, just because we can’t put ourselves at the top along with them?

I once heard a relative of mine said, “Sijil Beli” just because this young chap has studying in a private college? So, this chap labeled as not intelligent enough for not being chosen to study at IPTA or government university. Instead, they should have been proud because this young man, has made an effort to get his education, regardless of which college he got it from. He has a heart to enhance his own ability, not just sitting there after SPM and hoping to get a job with government and earn RM1200 a month with his SPM cert.

Sometimes, these kind of people really amaze me. I was wondering whey did they get the idea of “sijil beli”?

Then, this morning a friend sharing with me, how a community judging and pointing finger just because a lady, with her kind heart, supported and sharing the burden of her boyfriend in studying. And there comes the “nunduk ke orang laki” , “enda tegiga ke laki bukai”..come on la… what is wrong in doing that? What is wrong is supporting something or someone that is good? Did the lady loan or asking their money in doing so? I doubt it.

One of my facebook friend, last week, enraged by a scenario as he called it, “Bertuankan ai arak”..

I, myself sometimes went out and entertained some friends and of course we had few cans of beer but I never drunk myself out of my head.

Unfortunately, in our country, we do not have any clinic or programme for alcoholic because in our country, have no treatment for this disease. We treat drug addict but not alcoholic. So, in our mind, there is no alcoholic, they is nothing wrong in being drunk every day, become stupid because of the liquor and beating their wife when they were drunk, because we can do nothing about it. It’s okay to show to our kids our stupidity when we were drunk. Because there is no law against it.

So, this mental set will be inherited by the new generations. Finish the month’s pay in one week for karaoke and liquor, on girls and gambling.

I have experienced a lot in this matter.

Few weeks ago, a couple of husband and wife that was also my client (life insurance) called me and said that they wanted to terminated they saving in their policy. When the policy were still enforced, I went up and down to their place to collect the premium and help them to pay. When they said they want to terminate, after almost 4 years of enforcement (a lot of money has been saved) I have no say, because that was their right. And happened to be, there are some money in the fund to be refunded to them.

But deep in my heart, I am frustrated not because I will not receive any commission from their policy anymore (mind you, I have received a lot in the pass 3 years) but because I know, truly knowing that apart from this (the policy), they have no others saving. They only can maintained 2 of the policies out of the 4 originally applied and enforced. And now, they also lost it.

But, who am I to decide for their future? I am not giving up in my people because I know, many out there has make their step forward and I hope to see me, myself among them.

I just think that I am going to stop here for this time, but I will always talking about this thing and hopefully it can give some of us the wake up call. Well there is a big chancec that no one is going to read this for I know how our people react towards reading habits but I will never stop hoping, there will be more changing of attitude in our people. because everything is starting from our mind. If we think backward, we will left behind and the only people that can make the changes and make the first step ahead is the young and new generation.

Adios and see you soon...;)