Thursday, July 29, 2010

Harry ft. Jenny - Semakin sayau semakin rindu

this is one of many Iban's song that I love to least not about frustration and broken heart all the time..acid rain also very talented.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Marriage In My Eyes

Good morning all...

Actually there is a lot of things in my mind but I don't really have time to express everything out in here, for now, I am back to 8-5 again plus, mother duty after that, plus my life insurance service that I need to maintain to my clients and also my online boutique, Galasuri e-boutique that takes almost of my time to myself away. So, when I stop, I was either too tired to write any entry here or I was just pampered myself and be lazy...

But I really interested in a discussion at one of my friend's wall in facebook about the reason why the rate of divorce is increasing in Malaysia. Like always, I never can stop my own opinion but that is what the purpose rite? to share and discuss...either you are pro or contra, you do contribute.

Well..I am not the perfect person to talk about marriage I guess for I myself have failed in my previous marriage but I am never too ashamed to admit it for that is one of the reason I can get up once again now, standing here and preparing for my next step. My entry here is not to judge anyone or to justify anything but just to share some of my view about this topic. That is why I put the title : Marriage In My is truly, purely from my own opinion, based on my own experience, not from anyone else. Hopefully this sharing will shed some light into our life.

When I was first married, I was just 19 years old. When I looked back at that day and if I am now, giving any chance to change anything, I'd say, I will back away..

Factor (I) Age

I know some said that, it's nothing to do with age, because it was done all through this time, from our ancestors time more than 50 years ago, our great grandparent was married as early as 13 years old, and that is parent when they were married, my father was just 18 and my mothers was 13 years old.

But, does it fair to compare these two distance generation to our time now? Before, when our parent were married, when our great grandparent were married, they was no what we called "city". No outside influence as much as now in the big city. When they were paired with they chosen partner, they have no much choice but to stick to each other and focusing in survived their daily life, that was at that time, went into the wood and hunting or maybe did the farming tasks.

Now, we have hundreds type of entertainment, millions of opportunities, the world is larger, our social circle is getting bigger. Somehow, these young couple will look out through their 'window' and realised that this is not they want. Or they want the marriage is just a barrier from what they should have or what their future should look like.

A young husband might think, 'I am still young, I should have friends and enjoy my life, not stuck here with this too much of commitment (many knows how afraid a man of a commitment)'

And a young wife might think 'I am just 20 and I am smart, I should have a degree and work as an executive right now, dress beautifully and have many admirer to send me flowers, not sitting here and being a servant in my own home, never going out and enjoy my life..'

Preparing ourselves to enter a marriage life or get a certificate before we say we do? But then, it is just on the paper, theory. Actual life can't be study through a book. Actual marriage life is something to do with maturity and responsibility and we are not going to find them in any book.

So, at the end, they will getting tired of each other and divorce is the only way out. Maybe not many is lucky enough or strong enough to start all over again and end well after that, but still for me..age and preparation is the main factor.

Factor (II) The Reason

When going to be marry couple, asked the why question, I can bet the number one answer will be, "because we love each other"

Why do we want to get married to each other and why now?

Honestly, when I was married for the 1st time, I didn't really know what I was doing actually. Our parent (after seeing us dating each other for about 2 years) made all the decision. They choosed the date, they choosed the restaurant, choosed the guests, choosed not to be married at church and luckily they choosed to pay for it too..

But to tell you the truth, I did not feel proud of it. And it (all the decision by others) ate me up sometimes later. My fault for being so stupid, did not say no. Did not say 'I am not ready' or 'I want to have a job first'. That was the biggest mistake ever, not knowing what we want ourself and being carried away by what we though as a eternity love at the age of 19 or 20!!

Well, proven being romantic did not help at all then..young heart started to cracked when they realised there were so much more they want and need in their life. So, being in love might not be the right reason to be married then...but what will??

What about wanting to settle down our own life..of course after we are very very ready for it..After the age of 25 some might have a good job and started to think that 'This is the time..I can support a family of my own" or at that age, a man will say..think its time to stop the jollying and have someone to care for me.

Love tself is very abstract, when you are in love doesn't mean that you are ready to commit and shouldered the responsibility. But of course, many do not aware of this.

Or a girl decided to be married at the age of 18, abandoned her college and aim just because she mistakenly, stupidly, do not know about safe sex and landed herself in the base of motherhood in that very early of age? Who should we blame? The school for not teaching about safe sex education? The parent for not provided their daughter with the knowledge? The boyfriend for being even more stupid, knowing himself scared like hell to be responsible and being a father at 18 and forget about condom when they can't stand the lust?

Anything, everything, we come back to the reason again...force marriage because of the girlfriend was pregnant is not much different than a suicide to a boy. How do we as a parent, let our children do this? Sex before marriage is very much unavoidable this days..why don't we open our heart and face the fact then? Instead of forcing ourself to believe that our children will not doing it because they are sooo...nice and a good child, why not we prepare them the knowledge of having the safe sex then??

Do not bargain with the reason of the marriage. Force marriage will never get you to where you want. Married because you really ready for it. Never married anyone because you felt sorry for them, because you felt obliged to pay someone's good deeds..that is another wrong reason to get married for me. Because my friends, part from everything else, love does play a role..because I myself, believe in true love, so marrying someone that you do not love naturally also not a good, be carefull with whatever reason you want to be marry to your partner or else, again you might be in the statistic like me..

Factor (III) Financial Issue

Do not take for granted this one. Especially the ladies out there. Do not say, you will be happy only with your true love, because your heart might full of love but your stomach might not dear...;)

Maybe this romantic partner will not have the issue in the 1st few years but wait until you have another mouth to feed and you definitely can't feed them maggie mee..."Only the rich will say, money is not important" how that is true and correct. Be practical is what the poor always do..saying that money is not important is just a methapor for the rich..that is because they already have the money.

Imagine yourself, a wife...ok..a housewife. Staying at home with 2 small kids. Your husband is just a labour at the site bringing home RM1500 a month. Well, do some rental RM300, utilities bill RM100, telephone RM50, car loan (a family with 2 kids need a car) RM300, the kids formula, 1 tin each week cost RM45 (x 4 weeks) equal to RM180, fuel for the car RM200, kitchen supply the total is RM1430 already. And you as the wife would not have any chance to be on holiday, eat in a fancy restaurant, shop for nice dress because there is a financial issue in the house.

A woman is just an ordinary human being...she can see her friends and relative wearing jeweleries, can see her friends have good job and can support themselves very well. When she was 45 years old the question will be "what have I done all this while? taking care of others but me myself lost in nowhere?"

And a wife to this situation won't have much choice, they can't have their hair done, they can't wear nice outfits because if they do, their children will starve to death, so they have to accept what they have and live with that.

Then the husband...if you can't afford to buy your wife a nice dress, can't afford to provide for her beauty expenses, you might going home in another 5 years and seeing a fat, ugly wife of yours. How is that? You don't mind? Come on...don't ever trick yourself..

Then the climax of the drama, the husband will start to get many crazy ideas in his head. "My wife so scary with her double chin, swagging cheeks and layers and layers of tummy..." And the end, they will never know it when they started to have the imagination of having something different. The problem is, men do not age easily and do not get fat as a housewife will do.

The wife will be angry because the husband do not provide enoguh for them and the husband will be happy to have another reason to materialised his imagination. Again, the closure will come to the addition of the statistic.

Factor (V) Interference

Interfere...interfere..interfer...hmm. I even had this issue long time ago. Okay, in a marriage home, they should not be any other person that can or should interfere. If you are a husband, do not ask your mother of when should you started to have a child of your own. Do not ask your mummy whether your wife should working or stay at home. Do not ask your mother which house should you buy for your family. DO NOT!! Because we, the wife hate a husband that always referring to his mother. We have no place for mummy boy!! If you want to be a good son, you will never ever be a good husband. Believe me in this.

Once you married, stay alone with your family (not your parent's family). Be independent is sweets although it might be hard. Sometimes, being in difficulty together will make the bond stronger and the love deeper. Do not treat your wife as a "stupido".

And for a wife, never looked down on your husband but encourage them. They might not be your favourite man of the year once you are married but no two persons are the same.

Too much interference from family members is not a heathy marriage and this also contribute to the break up of many home too.

Factor (IV) The Attitude itself

Now, lets talk about this. ATTITUDE..some people I admired them very much. I have few friends that has been married at a very young age and they still can make it until now. So you might want to yell at me..TOLD U SOO!!!

Well, I am very aware that not every couple that married at young age will face failure. No, absolutely no. I just want to emphasis on some of the reasons that contribute to the statistic of the divorce in our country.

Because some friends also did talk about "putting ourself in the lowest stage/level of our own life..." so I just want to remind us all here that, no one want to be a divorcee, not me. Everyone want to live a fairytale life, happy ever after. But who are to decide on our own unknown future then?

But some really are just a pain in the ass..mind my language. I have been im marketing line in quite a time already and I have known few people that really can't be rely on as a partner. A husband, abandon his wife because he just can't think straight with his brain when his dick is 'straight'. I will not say anything if the wife is as terrible as he as a husband, but the wife is such a good wife, a husband can find. Still, he choosed to hurt the partner and break his own home.

And Ive known some wife that really are ungrateful as a wife. Spending their husband's paycheck and bringing their home to a disaster, with long que of debts and loan.

If we are a wife, share the burden so we will understand how hard it is to gain the paycheck. If you are a husband, share the house chores so you will understand how tired we are after we finished at night when you want sex.

There is one particular I've heard and like "fix something if you want sex". I think that is fair enough.

Divorce happened because women are getting smarter and they just don't want to have to wait for someone but they live's itself is being unappreciated. I still have strong believe that love is not impossible but our attitude keen to destroy everything that we'd builded.

Lastly, I would like to apologize if whatever I'd write here did hurt someone. My purpose in writing is just to share..I might not write it nicely but for me what most important is I honestly, genuinely, express my own opinion through this good way..writing.

Again, there is no intention to judge anyone, because me, myself is just an ordinary person, not a perfect one and I always open up for honest discussion.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Miri trip 10/07/2010

On 10/07/2010, Saturday, couple of weeks ago, I was in a trip with my hubby, my boss, Dee and one of my colleague to Miri, to visit our boss' friend that has just lost his wife in the week before. At the same time, my boss Mr. ramli and his wife Mdm Cindy (my friend Dee) was planning to went to Tv 10 Studio, where they had their wedding anniversary dinner's event video recorded and edited.

So, here we go.......

We started our journey at 11 a.m..( and hubby had to sent the kids to my aunt's place..) leaving our car at Dee's house and sharing her cute myvi...5 of us and I have to squezzed myself in between hubby and Maxwell at the back seats..lucky me, my size got no problem with that..;)

About 1 and half hour driving..(boss drove us lel..;)) we stop at Niah rest stop at 12.30 pm. Shiny day, I can felt the sun was envied my he burnt it (a little..Dee did provided us with her sunscreen cream that she stored in her car). But I was grateful for the weather thou, for if it was raining, we might not be able to make it in time. A day better pray for the best....

I was quite surprise with the sight of it..hahahha...never too early for durian season la...I am a kaki durian myself and Dee and his hubby just as excited as I was at the sight of the smelly, 'thorny' durians..
Sorry for hubby, he just not into it (durian fan's club..hehehe..)..they sold it by kg here..hmm..imagine what is the weight of a nice, medium size of a durian? Here it was sold at RM9/kg..not bad..and a durian (as I sd, nice, medium size ..) can weighted up to 1.5 durian..
So, tokey nior weighted and bought 2 durians and guess what? It was yummy.....thanx Dee..;)

Erks..I was not really a good photographer myself..hehehehe...blurr a bit but no worry, I still can see the beauty of the durians...;)

Why..I was always forgetting to take pictures before we finished the whole things on the table...hai yoo..selalu macam ni..:( nevermind, we just check the durian's skin lol..hehehe..)

Yum seng again?..No? How to cheers with durian then? hahahaha....hantu durian..Dee and husband, our boss..cayalah..they were so sporting, possing with the durians...

hahahaha..believe me when I said this tokey nior is 'hantu durian'? She was soo.. happy with the durians...

What a sight....hungry la...;) everyone finished their meal..I tried to minimize my food intake thou and hubby was the victim..hehehe...apart from hubby that was only had a piece of the durian, the rest of the leftovers belong to 4 of us...

photo taken by Dee...Mr Ramli, Maxwell (he was solo this time :)....), hubby with his favourite England's jersey shirt and a loyal fan too...and me, at the least you can't see my 'plump' image here...;)

My favourite...100 Plus is a must after a hot sunny day and less water intake..this drink is a big help or I will get my mouth ulser immediately...thanx 100 plus..
After about half hour at the rest stop, washing our hand off the durian's smell and cleansing our mouth..(never underestimated the durian effect in your social life....) we continued our adventure...hahahha..sounds so thrill pulak...

At 2 pm, we arrived in Miri town and after getting lost for about 15 minutes, we managed to found the friend's house and when we were they, we were served (less than 2 hrs after we had our lunch plus durian at Niah rest stop) with orang ulu's rice that wrapped and cooked in a leaf called daun 'long'.. actually i was thinking in taking photos but then I don't think it was appropriate to take photos in this situation...
We were there to expressed our sympathy and the deceased was only 43 yrs old and she had stroke due to her high blood desease. Actually, I do not really know how to react in this kind of situation..I hate to think of the unfortunate fate of losing someone that we love at this early age. but, at least the kids has grown up and can take care of themselves but I really can understand the feeling of the spouse thou...losing a partner that has spent almost of their life with us is unbearable..that is what I think...
Anyway, condolence to this family and thank you for the warmth welcome.
After 3 pm, we again continue our journey.....;)

Boulevard Plaza, Miri....poor Maxwell..hehehe...he was solo..(Mrs and his son can't make it space..hehehe..)
they were having the wedding show at the upper level...when I was arrived there, I just passed the camera to hubby and I rushed to the washroom did I know that he just hold the camera and not taking any photos lel..hahahha..hubby..hubby..
The show was pretty....they have beautiful photos and wedding gown...
Oopsss..don't forget..we are here to see Johnny, the event photographer of Dee's wedding anniversary dinner. Johnny's studio is participating in the show too..;) by the way, I really love the photos taken by him..very beautiful and creative...congrates Johnny!!!

Actually I have a better photos of them...hehhee..but I like the candid side of this one..hehehe..sorry worry, you still look gorgeous no matter how candid the photos was....and that was our talented photographer, boss? as;)

Again, we had to looked for a place...:P...our next stop was TV10 studio..a videographer for Dee's wedding anniversary dinner...
We found the place..thanx to Angela (TV10's staff)..with her direction by phone that I was wrongly heard as 2020 cash when she actually said '2020 cafe'...hahahaha..but we still managed to found her place..but before that, Dee insisting on buying something for them eventhough Angela has refused our offer of KFC's chicken...that is my friend Dee..always giving..;) God bless her.. the time we were standing there, waiting for her to shop for a basket of fruits for Angela and her colleague, we suddenly saw this..well, the one that was excited to saw this was Maxwell...hahahaha..he even invited us to have our hair cut there..funny...

hahahaha....what a coincidence... that we've found TV10 studio, I can't wait to see Angela..she was so friendly and funny on the phone..and I kind of building a friendship with her after I'd lost count of how many times I needed to called her for the anniversary arrangement and she was totally nice and very patient with me..thanx amoi..;)

Dee and Angela ..possing for the camera..;)

Here we Angela's cozy office..can you see at the wall..they'd producing quite a numbers of video.

Lagak seorang editor...:)
We enter the mini studio at the back and Angela played part of the video for was the first time I was in a studio and it was awesome..the equipment they had there...both of us, Dee and me were so eager to watched the was 2 hrs of event video..after they edited that.
And I can say that they did a good job with it..;)

my camera shy yet so sporting..;) thanx hubby...your support is the most important thing to me..;)

this is how the mini studio looked like..I told Angela I will publish these photos in my blog and she was okay with it...:)

I think this is what they use to edit the not know the name thou ..hehehe...

me...Dee always like to test her ability in taking my photo..hahahaha...i think she is quite good, she managed to take the right angle..without the chubby look...;)

with TV10 staffs..Richard (MD) was standing next to Mr Ramli, fourth from right
...Richard, the managing director of TV10 was just a small man but I can see that he was full of idea..he managed to market their product and works, with Mr. ramli and he was so friendly too...

hehehehe...we got it...simple photo of this crazy man..;)

Richard was presenting to Mr Ramli...soo..clever
we said goodbye after about an hour later...

now..we were at bintang dear friend need to go to Parkson, urgently..hahahaha....

when we were at Miri, normally it was with the kids and we never can't missed the chaotic scenario..but today, me and hubby just wandering by ourself..felt like we are dating once again...

after more than half hour waiting for Dee to finished her 'addiction' with Parckson, I just can't stand it anymore...

the queue was never I just urged hubby to queue with me and get the Mc D's 'chocolate toppy' for me..hehehe...
after I finished my ice cream, (luckily I didn't have to had another one..hehehe..)that amoi come out from Parkson with a bottle of perfume that I forgot what was the name again..cost her RM260...and I told her, I can buy 5 bottle with that much money..hehehe...

again...I forgot to take photos before we ate the whole beautiful, yummy seafood...huhuhu...we had crab, steamed fish (forgot the name), fried prawn with egg and vegi..(what vegi ha..)
I was so full, I planned to sleep in our way back..we heading back Bintulu at 7 pm..thank you to Mr Ramli and Dee, for sponsoring the trip...;)
During our journey back, I saw a red light in the sky and I thought it was a lightning something and I just ignored it after a while and at the same time, praying that the weather will be in our side until we reached home..
But when we were so close to Bintulu and eventually when we were at Bintulu area, actually the red light that I saw, was a fire from a gas 'chimney'..(I don't know how do they called it..) at MLNG site was so beautiful. It makes me wonder how God provided us with all this rich source and human with their intelligent mind, managed to build something that is as bis as this thing and not mention the cost of it...the wealth, the money come in because of this thing...oil.

okay...we were home about 10 pm...then we can felt the 'impact' back aching...ouch..and we said goodbye to each other..thanks again to Dee and Mr. Ramli...

Here we were...12.30, stretching out after 1 and a half hour crammed in the back seat of the cute myvi of Dee...I was so busy learning how to use the camera at first (it was Dee's) before we left from Bintulu, I didn't manage to take any, this is kind of the 1st photo taken ..hehehe..that was hubby, straightening his shirt..and as always, Mr. Ramli was so sporting with his smile...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

CORRUPTION-MALAYSIA: Video Clip Lands Top Judiciary in the Dock - IPS

I really want to know more on these...

CORRUPTION-MALAYSIA: Video Clip Lands Top Judiciary in the Dock - IPS

subsidy oh..subsidy...

I think that the whole morning I've been talking about this issue..yesterday morning and this morning too. honestly, I am very upset by this thing, not because I am that calculative on that few cents increment but the only thing that appeared in my mind is the impact on the poor or middle income people. They might not get direct impact on this but apparently they will have to shouldered the burden when the business class community such as restaurant and grocery stores. Definitely, immediately, these group of people will increase the rest of the goods price due to a reason that I am not surprise of:"minyak sudah naik o...mana ada untung, kos hantar ambik barang pun sudah berapa.." or "gula sudah naik harga la..kalau jual kopi harga lama memang rugi..macam mana mau cari makan.."

not that we can blame them when everyone needs to feed their own family..everyone just need to 'pinch' someone else just to survive.

Many of friends has shared teir opinion and none of them has agreed or can say anything positive towards this issue. Well, may be they are some people who will gain something from this but definitely not us, the people.

just to quote some one of the article by Malaysia Sensasi that was shared a friend with me..

Planned Subsidy Cut Draws Fire, Seen to Hurt the Poor
By Anil Netto

PENANG, Malaysia, June 8, 2010 (IPS) - The government’s proposal to remove and rationalise subsidies on essential goods and services continues to provoke a storm of criticism from ordinary Malaysians.

Idris Jala, who leads the government’s Performance and Management Delivery Unit (PEMANDU), has put it in stark terms: Malaysia will go bust in nine years if it does not slash subsidies and cut its government expenditure to curb spiraling debt.

- he (Idris Jala) said, 'if it does not slash subsidies and cuts its government expenditure TO curb spiralling debt. Well, 1st question is between the subsidies and government expenditures, they choosed the subsidies...

- why do we have such a huge debt? we are so rich in natural resources, we have oil & gas, we have logs, we have our own marine supply, we have our own rich land for agricultural sources, we have income from tourisme industry, we supply water to Singapore..pendek kata, we have almost everything that we need to be rich left alone to survive.

now let us check this part, also from the same reading..

"But many Malaysians blame the country's financial woes on the government, with the general response being, if the government really wants to save money on subsidies, it should first plug ‘leakages’ in government expenditure and curb rampant corruption. Billions have been poured into unproductive government projects with little to show, critics charge."

-arent they make sense? that is what i meant by they choosing to cut subsidies in change of government expenditures. why don't they do the paper work again and have a look at what they need to cut in their expenditure? say..less entertainment for the MPs? stop building the 'giant' government building just to show off the beautiful looks but inside they only used 1/3 of the spaces. let me remind you of the States Building in Kapit..and I was there before and I have been to each floor of the building and I positively can assure you that they only make use of the 60% of the space (to say the most).

- and the old buildings were left to rot without being utilised..if you a businessman, everytime you see this you will a waste, if it is mine, may be I can get millions from it by renting it out as business office..

"(If) they get rid of the subsidies, (there will be more) money for them to distribute to their goons!'" responded one frustrated Internet user, Bhaskaran, when asked by IPS.

-why does people have this image in their mind? because the opposition poisoned their mind? but from what I've seen, majority of the opposition or the people that become stronger in their voice in opposing the government policies is the people that we can consider as a highly educated people, professional in their jobs, energetic youngsters and college students. if these group of people insisting on objecting, they might be something to think about it...

Abang Benet in a commentary published recently by the social reform group ALIRAN. "But please ensure that the poor and the most marginalised groups continue receiving subsidies since they need it most. After all, why penalise the poor and the most marginalised for the subsidy excesses of the ruling coalition?"

- I am totally agreed with this statement "why penalise the poor and the most marginalised??

-it kind of, asking people to pay for their luxury (have you seen Khir Toyo's palace?), whereas the poor geeting poorest, supporting the rich, paying along the fuel for them..

-when I said, why don't they charged the Hilux, Bmw, Mercedez car owners the unsudsidised fuel but subsidised the small or cars? my husband asked me they going to implementing that? well...the computer also very complicated but man can sort anything from it...we also have system for swiping credit cards..why can't we create a system that can lessen the burden of the lower income people?

PEMANDU set up a ‘Subsidy Rationalisation Lab’ in March to review all forms of subsidies with a view to trimming expenditure and curbing fiscal debt. On May 27 it held an ‘Open Day’ to obtain public feedback on a range of proposals, including plans to gradually remove petrol and gas subsidies, raise highway tolls, hike government hospital fees, and abolish some education subsidies.

- I tell you one thing, if they come to hospital fees, they are really really desperate already they might rob us openly on the street and what is the use of the poll anyway? they not gonna look at it la...

-education? who cares about our children's education when they can afford to send their kids to others country to get better education? In the while we struggling between 2 jobs to educated our kids and to feed our saving for retirement counted for we definitely will never have enough money to save

During the public consultation, it was revealed that companies received 18 billion Malaysian ringgits (about 5.4 million U.S. dollars) out of total subsidies of 74 billion ringgits (22.2 million dollars) in 2009. In contrast, the poor received only 1.7 billion ringgits (511,813 dollars).

By holding out the prospect that their resource-rich country could go bankrupt by 2019, Idris, who is also a cabinet minister, aimed at convincing Malaysians that shock therapy was necessary. Subsidies would only lead to market distortion, draining the government of funds for more targeted development projects for the people, he said.

- again..the rich get the benefit and the poor get the free sympathy..what can we do? report? reporting to whom? to the group that get the 18 billion RM? I might be dreaming of it...

- what is the "targeted developenemt project"? building 2 billion RM private school and only the rich kids can study there? giving more allowance to teaching stuffs but cut off the student food supply?

- talking about development project...Sibujaya, they builded the new house and sale it at 100k for an unit but it is still the same size, the same design (only change the room direction) and the same height, with the same material..and previously the house there only cost 40-70k for each unit..talking about middle cost and lower cost housing.

- Durin bridge which I always remember and asking some people..only builded with one side of the was supposed to have 2 side bridge with 2 lane in each side but now, you can go there and see for yourself how funny is the look when the new road from Sibu builded in 2 way (with 2 lane each way) but suddenly narrowed to the only 1 side of the bridge..

"That is the wrong approach towards managing a country where there are lot of poor people and a high disparity in income between the rich and poor," said Santiago.

But Idris argued that subsidies would be more targeted to the very poor instead of a blanket subsidy for all. "We will continue to spend to provide subsidies on education such as scholarships, text book assistance, food, etc.,’’ the local media reported him as saying.

- i am not buying any of the thing that this Idris Jala said because i know very well, it is easy to say than do he going to do it? how he going to target the poor? will he come down to every corner of malaysia or Sarwak particularly and hand it personally? or he will pass it to his people, and his peopla will 'bite' a bit the pass to others and this 'others' will 'bite' abit too? and at the end what left is really the leftover? is that what he meant?

- but still I can see, student with both parents are teachers (with income of 2-3k a month each of them)still can have their free textbooks tell me how this can reach the so called "target"?

A Chinese-language newspaper, ‘Nanyang Siang Pau’, cited in the English-language ‘The Sun’, has predicted that the reduction of subsidies would lead to a 20 percent increase in the living expenses of the average household within three years.

"If you think about it, it is the companies who receive the most in subsidies, which include not just the direct subsidies, but also cheap land, soft loans, bailouts using public funds, and other incentives," Santiago added.

- are absolutely right sir..increase in the living expenses..didn't anyone in our PM office think about this or they are just plain stupid too? that is what we meant by burdening the poor, the poor become are we going to have our own house when all we did for the rest of our life is working our ass out just to get enough food???

- then ...who is this company's owner then? who has interests in this so called companies that buying cheap land, who is that, that need to pay bail outs everytime their development project failed?

Faced with a barrage of negative feedback, Prime Minister Najib announced on Tuesday the government had not made a final decision on whether subsidies should be scrapped or cut and it was still carefully studying its next move.

- i really don't understand what did he think when he made the decision then? the damaged is done, the faith has gone...but i bet he really think of srapped it forever..definitely not for the good of the people..that I am very sure of it. but the tactic always worked thou..promised to correct the wrong but when people were calm..they just forget about it..isn't that clever..

be sure to check more on this issue as at below;

i only managed to comment on this only article for the moment..but i really appreciate any sharing or feedback on this. sometimes when we share we can shed more light on the thing.

again, i just can help it but feeling frusted by our leader for their selfishness..why there is no one that is really can be a leader and serve the people not because of the money that they can get from it but because they are just a good man?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mindset (Part I)

Here I am again, speak out loud through my keyboard..used to say it through my pen..;) Now, I've been thinking of this quite a long time already. I used to debating on this issue whenever I can, with whoever that is willing to share their opinion with me. Well, needless to say, of course there are some pro and contra in everything..never expect everything to be wholly totally right at your side of view only.
What I'm going to talk about might be sensitive to some..but really, my intention is nothing but to put some highlight to this issue that is why, for me the biggest reason why our people is still leave far behind comparing to others.
I am an Iban and am proud to be one. but when I said that Iban's songs need to be more creative, need to be more advance or modern, people said, I am embarass to claim myself as an Iban..that is totally not true. I said, I don't really like Iban's songs because they are not yet come to my standard of hearing..true bah..most of the songs just crap..
I really can't memorize any song properly but too bad, that is because I really don't like it. Normally I will hear about fighting amongst girls to get the guys, how a mother in law really mean to her daughter in law, how a man really want to be young and even if he is old already, still claiming himself a hot can I like something sounds like that?
Each time I hear their song, it will about a woman, crying in her song, leaving and cheating by her man.
Okay, maybe if I said the lyrics is terrible, check out the image in their clip. How hard is it or how expensive is it to put on some efforts in the background, may be edit a bit, put on some small effects in it, instead of showing the whole ugly pictures of our place..people will say..wah..they are so modern now la..they are so pandai already, can used the computer effects in their video clip..but the only thing that came out in my mind when I watched their clip is...OMG..the long house looks so terrible, why can't they have a nice long house, a painted ones, the wall can't be more critical than that kah..we have a lots lots of nice and new long houses, with complete facility, with modern look, almost like a terrace house, clean and beautiful.
Why do we want people to say that? Why do we want people to know how far behind are we? Why do we want people to know how poor we are? I am not embarass being an Iban..I am embarassed because we can't think of a simple way to show the world that we are not that bad!! And I am embarassed when i walked on the street and some local Iban guy pheewiiit me eventhough they can see that I am with kids in tow..Helloo..they are our guy..they should protect their girls..same ethnic group but they just make us feel so unsafe.
Know what else that I am embarassed about? I am embarassed when those mothers in Sibujaya, a wife, while their husband is working in the rural area, in the logpond or having seasick in Russia working their ass out as rigger, sending home 3-5k a month to support their family but instead their wife huhuhaha filling their head full with can't imagine it? but I am not imagining it, I saw it with my own eyes..I am not trying to judging anyone here but really this make me sick. Can you see those poor children left to be independent while their mother spending money on those stupid liquor? So, when the husband come back, they have no saving, they kids will not interested in joining the school anymore. Their teenage daughters is married away or eloped with a guy that they sometimes don't even know where he was came from. What a life?? I will tell you more..not because I want you to know how naive our life is but because I really want to open up some eyes out there..(not that many reading this thou..)
okay..still with the wife alcohol addiction...huhuhaha ..again, bought big car, but just drove it around Sibujaya there each day..spend 1500 just to pay for the instalment..went to their favourite spot, Adong Belalai karaoke..spend another 2-3 hundreds there just in one night..your kids?? no idea of their drunk..then the worst part, fought among each other..this applied to both gender thou. so, this wife, if anything happened to their husband, they instantly drop poor...lots enjoying and showing off, no saving....don't even try it..seriously..
From what I've seen, alcohol is the main reason why we are stucked behind others..Gawai festival, drunk themselves to death...fight for whatsoever reasons...then our kids is watching us making fool of ourselves and in the next generation, they inherit our behaviour...still think I am wrong?
What about this? Some parent, after their kids finished their SPM, immediately commanded (really commanded I tell you..) them to discontinuing study but look for a job..any job, as long as this young immature kids can support they (the parent) can retire at the age 45 and asking their children to send money to them every month..but for SPM, the pay is only about 1000 RM a skills, fresh from school, working as a government servants, okay..give them extra RM1300 monthly...then he will find a wife, having his own kids..still he need to support his old men with that much income. If this poor kids failed in sending them cash..he is bad...realllyyy baadd...Think I am mean??
Now, in a community meeting, a head of the long house..a tuai rumah we call them. the YB will coming next month to our prepare a list what we can ask from them..hmm..guess what? A plastic carpet (tikai in Iban)..maybe a bag or two of concrete to upgrade the front pathway...a generator (after 50 yrs malaysia merdeka we still have no electricity power lel..)..maybe a set of kitchen appliances so when we have any function there is something we can use to cook ...come on la...what about we try this??
(i) Solar system to provide for the electricity power?
-generator, you will need to supply for the diesel and maintenance..
(ii) a school near to your village
- so your kids won't have to travel by bus to another town and staying in boarding school and experience the miserable educational process
(iii) fresh water (if they say hard..ask them to supply for the dipenser lol..)
- so you don't have to drink from those big tank..rain water
(iv) a tractor
_ government keep on encouraging us to have a commercial padi planting...if they know how does it felt to farm by their bare hand, they won't say no..I know how it felt..I've experienced it..
okay..I think is enough that ask for more, still no guarantee you will get it though..
Some so called community or persatuan or a body whatever you want to call it, not much also we can see from them. women's body (rather not say it in real name)?? the leaders and committees members are those PD's wife, council's wife, pemancha's wife (don't know how to say it English..)..then whenever there is a function...they will invited our Iban singer..*rolled eyes** paid them 2-3k for the day show...again..come on la...why don't they invited those educated women/ladies? someone that is known for her service to the people? if not internationally, maybe just in the district is enough..instead of paying those singer, why not they invite a motivator to share and give they can have a more brilliant brain after that?? that 2-3k, why not they used the money and generate it for the purposes of charity? well. ..I'd talk much ..I'd figured too, no one will read this that can really bring any chance thou...
last..for I'm quite tired already...this can be a very long entry but just rest at here for this time. Lets talk about our leader.. LEADERs that has been chosen by people..Iban people..where are they? hellooo...they are rich? not so...they are clever?..not so too..what happen to them? who do they serve actually? the people or the butt of some "flesh eating" group of people that also eat us alive and none of our leaders do anything about it? our land?? our log?? baby logs but also robbed from us and nothing we can do about it because we are so fascinating by the few hundreds the contractor gave us? **rolled eyes again**
okay...need to stop by now..but I will continue on this..just wait..;)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Night Of Love...

The Night Of Love...that's what I called it..03/07/2010. last Saturday we joint the celebration of 13th years of marriage of Mr. Ramli Malaka and his wife, Mdm Cindy which is a long time best friend of mine. Just let me introduce you a little bit on their background; Mr Ramli is DEEP Construction Sdn Bhd's Project Director as well as the major shareholders in the company that is involve in oil & gas construction and others construction as well. Mdm Cindy meanwhile is the Finance & Project Secretary of the company and me...hehehe..I am just ordinary employee to them but Mdm Cindy like to introduce me as their assistant..(a compliment to me lol..)

Even after few days passes by, I always like to remember the night as a very special night. Apart from the fact that we were so happy with all the guests supports, I was so glad that at least we can handle the function quite well...thanks to the team, our MC, Mr Edwin, our entertainer for the night, the talented Mr. Francis, Everly Hotel Sales & Marketing Dept., Mdm Helen Jua for her helping hand (I was almost hectic at the entrance door until she came to the rescue), and others family members and our them all..

But I would like to give special thanx to my husband for his support..he even help me at the front desk with all the presents..*v* and almost the whole event I left him sitting there alone (with other guests of course) while I was running here and there trying to make sure that everything going smoothly as planned...

hubby, Mr Ramli, Mdm Cindy and me..(hehehe..chubby me..) the mini dress is last minute picked..the dress that I supposed to wear can't fit anymore..huhuhu..

Mdm Cindy and me found each others after almost 15 yrs through facebook and she quickly offered me to work with DCSB and here I am .... trying my very best to keep everything going beautifully for my friend..;)

13 years is a very long time...I still remember when Cindy said, " what a years to go through..." she wasn't kidding there thou..even for myself, 5 years of marriage is something that I always being proud of..

Back to the grant event, the food enormous and the guests were just need for me to mentioned the celebrated couple la..they were so handsome in their pairing suit and dress..and what attracted us most is the chemistry between them..

with friends and collegues (our table was specially for 'commitees' as Cik Wan Marlina the sales and marketing executive from Everly said..)

the happy family photo..13 years..blessed with 3 princes. the boys also very supporting during the event

the couple is preparing for toasting..funny, our MC managed to lead us with the 'yam senngggg' ritual..;)

our very own VVIP, DEEP Construction Managing Director, Mr. Moslem Khorram, Mr Hossein Dehkhodaei & his beautiful wife (Mr Hossein look so glamour in his suit..hehehe..;)

Mr. & Mrs Ramli with 'couple of the night' winner, Mr. & Mrs. Awang Bolhassan (General Manager of Bintulu Golf Club)
this couple get their award for being the most supporting couple of the night. they participated in every dances, Mr Awang even sang a beautiful love song, 'Wonderful Tonight'. Wonder how many of men out there that still can proudly hugging their wife after 20 years of marriage and dance with her through the night..with love in the air..;) they looked soo cute together and soo..romantic..thanks to them..;)

this is my favourite photo of all...hehehe..right angle..with Cikgu Daud, our former teacher from SMK Jalan Oya
after more than 15 years, we met again at the entrance...not much different from what I always remember him as a sporting man. thanks to him, I didn't have to introduce myself to him. may be a little kgs extra but the look, not much different lol..;)

my favourite moment..poco-poco..
honestly, I never learnt poco poco dance until that's looked so fun so I just kind of hop in and trying to follow the step..i managed to mastered it in 1 song but when I started to be good at it, the song finished la pulak..hehehe.. too bad, we were ran a bit late than the original schedule, audience started to heat on the floor at the end of the event but we need to end it after 11.30pm..but we are looking forward to have this beautiful guests to joint us in any of our future gathering..they are just amazing..
when we fixed the theme of the night as Black & Red, everyone came with the correct theme (but some might really against Black & Red thou..but still they are nice..), they stop to have their photo taken at the Red Carpet..just extraordinary them..;)
really enjoy the night, meeting a lot of new aquintances, most of the guests are close friends and some are VIP in our business circle. even the VIP, (which some I just known as real milionaire) very humble in their outlook and attitude. they are the 'big bosses' and mogul in their business but still they spare their time to joint and support their friend, Mr & Mrs Ramli Malaka.
I can't thank enough everyone that has involved in making this event as success as it has been...but I really admire the professionalism, the commitment and the hardwork to make things work as it supposed to work..they are the example of the success oriented people, motivated by their own positive thinking. I really hope that in the future we still can work together as a team...thanx and love to you all..muah..muah..;)
to Mr Ramli and Mdm Cindy, always remember this moment when the hard times come..and congratulation on your 13th Wedding Anniversary..May God be with you and family...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

a man for a lady....

i just read a post written by my favourite blogger Xia Xue..she talked about Singaporean men and described some as 'disturbingly crude, uncivilised, pervetic, horny, bitter bla..bla..bla..and i managed to read only half of it and i really understand what did she mean by all her writing. well, as a woman my self i also furiated by what she exposed in her blog.
bur lets not elaborate more on it..i just want to talk about what kind of men does a woman want for their partner.
honestly, not much a woman can find in a man but we, women just very tolerate mankind..we used to feel blessed with so little so we do not ask for more that what given to us.
From what i really could see, a woman doesn't really care about their partner look, that is why honey, we often see a girl ...beautiful girl with a not very good looking guy. some girls like the dangerous type of men..meaning the man might be look harsh or sometimes ruthless..pardon my selection of words but its true..
once i have a girlfriend that is having an affair with a married man. this so called boyfriend have a wife (of course..he is married ma..) and 3 kids in row...but this friends of mine managed to stay with this guy for more than 3 years (mind you...) without the knowledged of the wife. she (my friend) for me, considered to be a nice looking girl and come from a good family background but when i asked her why she choosed to be with the guy, her answer is.."don't know..i just feel very attracted to him, in a way, i like the danger and risks to be with makes us felt bonded.."
that was i think 7-8 years i am not sure if they are still together..i hope the best for her..
hmmm..young girls like being with married man...why is that? well i can guarantee you this one my friends...girls like matured men. yessss...they did..this type of man know what girls really want, how they want to be treated, what words they want to hear, what gifts they like...
in our country, when the man is aged 20-30 they considered young and immature..if you are not lucky enough, at the age of 25 and your boyfriend is 26, you still look at him as your younger brother..but mentally, girls are far more advance in thinking. this century of girls or women, they just do not want to taking care of their man anymore but they in reverse want to be taking care of. cant expect your 'young brother' to taking care of you right? but really, some guys are just extraordinary..even if they are young and immature, they willing to learn and sometimes, the relationship does help a lot..teaching the value of life and they can accept the responsibilities of becoming a place to lean on for their partner. but some...this is the main group, sorry to say never see things beyond their girls butt..(ooppss..anybody hurts?)
never surprise me...when the couple hang out together for more than 5 years where the girl getting older and worrying about her ticking ovulation clock, some guys just still playfull as they use to be and "no..not yet..still not ready for the commitment.." well, hon...if you are not ready, then just let off the girl and let the ready guy have her..fair isn't it? why you want her to wait for your gen to get old?
enough about married and matured men...this type of men in reversal very..very..annoying to most of the ladies ..(maybe the compatible one won't have any problem with this type thou..) the loudspoken type..
huhuhaha..telling others their greatness, they 'hight pitch' profile with girls is very 'saleable' in their opinion..but sorry guys..we are closed for this kind of human being not to say a man for us to rely on...:(
i'd once heard a man, in his stupor, stupid act bla..bla..talking big about his talent with girls, telling everyone how girls really attracted to him, how he can easily get a girl, anytime, anywhere he wanted it..but dear..untill now, you are solo bah...maybe you can get girls easily but a wife nope..excuse wife will tolerate the big mouth (i think..hehehe)
about an hour with his loud voice, his saliva drooling his mouth, telling us he made tenth thousand of money and still, he is the guy that i used to saw sitting at the coffee shop, alone every morning untill noon, driving his old cabuk car and living in a rented house..more talk man..this..really to avoid this kind of people.
stingy guys...hmm..this is the type that we can easily out girls..he might split your drinks and cinema tickets between you guys..but for some, its ok..;) he will not call you but he will misscall you then you need to call him back..funny ha..but do not confuse of these 2, stingy and money saving type. the later may be can do some good to you but just draw the limit for your own benefit. if he save all his money but expensed all on yours..say bye ..
branded guys...well, got some hint on this? this type will very nice to look at, very stylish and macho but carefull...check his job and the level of the income. from my own experience, this kind of guy, dress handsomely, Levi's jeans, Polo shirt but when he asked you out, he borrowed from his friends...but it does make a different if his job get his 5-10K a month..below that, plus the classy car, and the credit card, he might not afford to support himself..let alone a wife..get as far as you can from this type..
lazy and not hygiene might want to stay away from this guy...lazy + dirty..errkss..nothing worst lel..noticed him wearing the same shirt 2 or 3 days in arow and the smell is a bit disturbing and the bad breath??? run for help...
casanova..what can i say...beware of sweet talking guy, know very well how to place the bait, say all the right things, all the times, too good to be true..hmm..holding your hand in front of your family members and friends, smokey eyes and he can get away everytime he did something wrong..stop it there, you can't and never will able to handle me...
normally if you hang out with this type of guy, you can sense something is a bit fishy about his attitude but, you always brushed it aside for he is so good at his act, some not very strong women felt in the trap..
i think that will make it for some of the negative side..but lets share the about the good guy type, the type that we easily fit in with, the type that won't give you any headache and the one that you can trust to bear a child for him.
only one i like very mush of this 'strong relation couple' (i like to call it that way..) they have get through a lot in their life, they have stumble and get up from the bad time together,they have seen each other in their lowest point of short form, they knew each other very well, they close because they suffer together not because they partying and drunk together.
as a woman..the key to this kind of relationship is, a man that is simple in his life, a moderate and humble man, know what he should brag about and when he should lend his shoulder..he will never complaining of your weaknesses and disdvantage but he will support you when you felt you are the unluckiest person on earth. this man will look at you and be proud having you in his life, this man will defend you when others sees the only bad thing about you. this man is your true friend, the only one you can rely on during your bad time.
you will feel at ease everytime you are with him, you do not feel like you need to pretend and hide anything from can voice out your opinion to him and he won't take that you are thinking of underestimate him..the one that willing to learn together the value of relationship ...the one that when you think of him, whenever he is away, you heart beating like hell..the one that make you feel appreciated..
maybe some will say i am ridiculous but i think i've found mine...just don't take everything i'd shared here as whole world opinion..sometime the glass to others might be a diamond to you...
to all of ladies out there..there must be someone for you..never rush anything but just go with the flow and everything will fall into it place. until mynext writing..good to share with you, thank you for your support and LOVE each other like there is no tommorro...;)