Saturday, September 4, 2010

Just A Wandering Mind


Canada's Next Top Model Cycle 1 Top 10

Just don’t know why I am so full of spirit today. Back from the office I watched the last episode of Canada’s Next Top Model Season 1 and my favorite contestant, the geek Andrea won as the first Canada’s Next Top Model. Who would ever thought of it? I saw the show from the first episode and when I saw her for the first time, she was only an ordinary tomboy like girl come from nowhere, I even forget her hometown. And my first impression of her was, “Oww..this girl is a bookworm..don’t think she can survive the third week la..” and even she herself said that in the first week, she missed her parent terribly and cried, telling that her parent was going to Africa and she will be very far from them. She really looked like a ten years old girl to me at that time. And she even mentioned that she didn’t mind if she was out in the first week. She was so lack of confidence and her body was stiffed in her first photo shot. She was a naïve little girl compared to others that really confidence that they were the winner from the beginning such as Brandi that only managed to stay until the last four. And she had trouble in accepting the judges decision in expelling her. Poor girl…

Ordinary Andrea

 
The judges really had trouble in choosing between Andrea and Alanna, a prettier girl if compared to Andrea but after six weeks of the contest, my favorite was always Andrea or Sisi the Asian girl that was full of energy and funny. I was always frustrated over my favorite not chosen as winner from the others Next Top Model show such as America and especially Australia’s one which I thought the judges was biased in choosing the winner. But this time I am so happy with whom they chose. Not that Alanna was not pretty but I looked more into their effort and transformation or progress during the whole time they were coached and guided to be a model.


Allana Shelast - 2nd place

 
For me, Andrea, as naïve as she was, was a determine girl, hardworking and most importantly, she was so humble and never thought of herself as a winner until the final 3 weeks. And she was so innocent in her look but when she was in front of the camera she is a grown woman. Who ever thought that naïve look little girl can look so sexy in her photograph? And that tomboy attitude all vanished in a flick of second.

Sisi Wang - 3rd place

 
I remembered she confessed that she purchased all her clothes and things from ‘GOODWILL’ and “The Salvation Army” a place where people can get things such as clothes in a very cheap price or sometimes were used items. She was laughed by others contestants on her appearance and in one episode I think when they were just left only four of them, Brandi and Alanna back talking and laughed at her outfit and Andrea cut the sleeves of her few dollars sweaters and made it her socks and she called her mom and said, it looked like a hundred bucks outfit. Then she said to the ‘diary camera’ that she didn’t care of what the other girls thought of it but I know, deep in her heart, she was hurt by Brandi and Alanna’s attitude. And I hate Brandi for that. She was just a pretty face with ugly heart. Then, every time I saw her (Brandi), I saw a very ugly girl.


Brandi - 4th place

 
This is a girl that people will remembered as nobody when she was first appeared on the screen but she learned from her mistake. Because of her lack of confidence and self cautiousness she used to talked back to Stacey (the runway coach and a top model too) in the middle of Stacey’s sentence and she was complained by Stacey on that and she cried and said that she did it because she wanted people to think that she know what they were trying to tell her or wanted her to do. Oh..how I admired this girl for her innocence and willingness to adapt. It was not easy to be put in the middle of another nine girls that were prettier and more confidence than her and tried very hard to be seen amongst them.


 
In few of the episode I can saw that Brandi was a favorite and she won few of their contest. But I think the judges just didn’t like her comment on Sisi and said that Sisi wasn’t supposed and did not deserved to win because she wasn’t even born as Canadian. That count as a racist comment to me and maybe the judges thought so. And like Stacey said, she drinks. Well, who wants that kind of girl to represent their fashion product?

Seems like these girls tend to forget that they were supposed to be a presenter to the fashion designer or magazine. They always and sometimes most of the times forgot to care for their attitude in being so. If I am a designer, I would never want a negative attitude model to modeled my designs. That is how they should think but of course, most of them were just teenagers that was so excited with the prospects of being famous.

But I would like to quote Andrea as saying “I really want to win it. I’ve never had been respected before and I like it when someone said that I am beautiful and I just don’t want it to end. I just want to tell everyone that I’d made it and I am number one” Something like that and my heart goes for her. Really I myself have been in her place some other times before…not in a modeling reality show la..never even imagining it..hahaha…lucky me born as an ugly one. What I meant is that I used to be a girl with low self cautiousness and confidence during my teenage era..and sometimes now I still felt that way. It always amazed me how some women so cautious of their beauty and being proud of showing it off and can say openly that they think themselves as pretty or beautiful. Me? Erks..my guts still not allowed me to say so..but I’d say myself pretty through my jokes, yes..;))

I have my own way in encouraging and motivating myself. By my writing and quotes and sharing it with others. By becoming a good listener and believing in hard work through hardness, I will do it. And most importantly, I have faith in God. I always a believer even if I am not a church goer. I believe in doing good deeds and speak out my mind in transparent manner and try to encourage others by sharing my own experience (that was not much of course). I always on for others opinion and always like to see things at different angle so I will get more understanding on the subject. And karma play an important role in my daily life. “What goes around will comes around” Justin said in his sexy song. Ooppss..I talk a lot of myself already..sorry guys.

Well, I just want to tell all the girls out there, physical beauty is nothing without inner beauty. From my own experience, first of course we will normally judged someone from their look, because that is what we first see right? People’s face..then we will check the apt of their attitude. But believe me, a pretty face comes with bad manner = ugly look. Try it if you don’t believe it. Meanwhile, ugly or not so pretty face + positive attitude + good manner = beautiful.

Another thing that will make a girl look ugly is when she keep on telling people that she is beautiful, or sexy and try to make others to response (praise them of course) to be alert of it and even agree with them.

Let’s add another factor that lead to an ugly look. A girl that always want others (men especially) to see their ‘inside of the T-shirt bare skin’. Erks..come on la..don’t they have any other X factor other than their physical body?

When I was at school, I used to think that pretty girl were just ‘mean’. I knew some group of female students who were popular and honestly, I always felt undermined by them. And they even ‘meaner’ by using their popularity to made others felt small. Well, it wasn’t all their fault thou to be born pretty and attention ‘attracter’ (got that word ka..). So being a competitor myself, I had to find another way to be as outstanding as them. And that way was, to be among the top grader and excel in everything I can. Heehehe.. I managed to accomplished some of the ‘mission impossible’ but rather not say it here la..or you might say that I am too proud of myself but that’s true what..I am proud of myself. Just remember not to be arrogant with the pride, that is enough. I can write (sometimes a very good output), I can handle public speaking, I can play netball (even if I am just 5 feet tall or short..), I play chess, carom, I can write poem sometimes if I can focused my mind on it..hehehe..and now I can cook la…) Pity me ya..have to worked myself harder than those pretty girls just to prove myself that I am somebody (for me myself la..) and happy with it.

What makes me wonder is, I did meet many female friends that are wonderful and very productive on their own way, without the help of their look. Who said not so pretty women can’t make it then? But I had knew one very beautiful student during my school time that really didn’t make it and I felt sorry for her because I know, it must be hard for her. I’m not sure now whether she had that syndrome (can’t recall the name) that unable someone to see clearly and steadily any letters resulted in a poor reading and studying. Because from what other students gossip, she barely can’t read but she was damn beautiful.

Now, hold it for a sec. I don’t want to be critical or unfair here. There are a lot of pretty women that really excel in what they doing and in reverse, they were numbers of ugly women that really can’t make it in their life. And I am not against anyone here, just to let all of girls and women out there know that, no matter how you look, how tall you are, how thin or fat you are, you can make it if you want too. Everyone have their own X factor and it doesn’t have to be a pretty face. Once you recognized the X factor, ‘sell’ it. I mean ‘sell’ in a good way ya..i.e if you can speak well plus good positive and high motivated attitude, be a sales person or marketing officer. If you can’t speak well but your hand so good in doing creative things, be a designer. You don’t have to talk much then.

As for me, I like to talk in my head until it felt like it’s going to explode sometimes, and I love the art of arranging words (if you know what I mean), so here I am blogging for us all to mess our head with my writing. Of course some might not agree with what I write but that is what I call nature balance..there will always be pro and contra in everything or our world will ‘senget’ (tilted). Just imagine that, in my writing I can say that the world can be tilted..hahaha….But hey..that is why I like to write too because I can explore my own creative imagination. Crazy Jessy…

Oh… by the way, the group of the famous pretty female student that I mentioned before, I’ve never heard of their where about now. I wish to know what had happened to them and changing news after this whole millions years. Huh..feel so old already ha..

Until next time..adios and may God bless..

“MAKE LOVE NOT WAR”

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